Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 5 months ago

I need help writing a closure letter to my ex?

A few weeks ago, I broke up with my ex girlfriend because I felt like I was too controlled in our relationship.She would always “break up” with me to the point I didn’t care if she left or not. I feel bad for her now because she is absolutely heartbroken over this and I hurt for her, but I’m not happy anymore with her. She really wants us to try or take a break when that’s not what I want. I’ve been talking to this person from work and I am starting to have feelings for this girl ( I know it’s kinda fast but I’ve know this person for a long time and she is a good positive person that is always happy) and I told her I was talking to this girl from work because I’d rather Her hear from me then from other people making it feel like I left her to be with this girl when that’s not that case what so ever it kinda just happened. I do love her still even though we are not together and she will always mean something to me. She’s been through so much and I feel bad for her and I just want to tell her that’s everything is going to be okay and I want her to be happy and find someone that truly does make her happy. I just can’t come up with the word to tell her without hurting her even more. I want her to look at the relationship as something to learn from and grow stronger from. I am terrible with my words and if you could help me write something nice and something that sounds like I care about her still, but don’t want to be with her I would really appreciate it (:

5 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    No contact at all would be less painful than continuing to drag this out under the false rubric of "closure". Just leave her alone and let her heal in her own way.

  • 5 months ago

    There is absolutely no reason to "write a closure letter". If you don't want a relationship, you don't owe her a letter.

  • steve
    Lv 6
    5 months ago

    This is never easy. I have dated and dumped or been dumped but never felt the need to send a letter to explain why it was always done face to face.

    I once wrote a song for a girl when we split which when I see her now she always reminds me about.

    If you feel the need just write it down it doesn't matter what you say or how it appears if you get everything you think and feel out then that is good.

    You do not have to give it to her but writing everything down is a way of purging your negative feelings and moving on.

    At the end of the day why not just say you care for her deeply and are sorry things didn't workout between you and wish her a happy future?

  • Steve
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    If you didn’t tell her you felt too controlled by her, tell her that.

    Otherwise, she knows and has all one needs to learn from your unwillingness to continue.

    Her being heartbroken isn’t something you can fix. What you can fix is not explaining what is unacceptable. If you’ve already done that, you’re done.

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  • tony
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    dear Ex

    It’s a hard to make all my feelings go away, which is the reason I am writing you this letter. I think we need something more to get proper closure and move on. I am writing my thoughts down. I am writing this letter for closure so that this chapter of my life can close and the next one open. I think it is important to do this as bad feelings can remain for months or years after an event if they are not expressed.

    My feelings for you were strong and I had so much hope for the future. Even though our relationship was frustrating, I kept hoping that if I was patient and attentive I could find a way to help you experience the joy of a romantic relationship. I understand now that it’s not possible for me to do that for you.

    For myself, I want the happiness that comes from being in a romantic relationship. Since this can’t happen with you, I will look for this with another woman. I think you may feel uncomfortable about this. I hope you can let any resentment go and even feel happy for me if I find happiness with another woman.

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