How can you retain what you study when you constantly have social problems, financial problems and very deep family problems?
Can I win this if I ignore close family members? If I let one of them go crazy and let the very elderly one get abused mentally and financially until he dies? Then cut all contacts with the drama queen friends I have and be on my own; go to restaurants, cinema and shopping all alone? Always be seen on my own? And let others notice that I do everything alone? Then work in jobs that cripples my back overtime and leave me too tired at night to revise and retain what I study?
Some would say that science isn't for me if my life is so crap. But I know I am really good at it when I have no troubles in my mind. I have serious potential, I am calm and I have the patience to study. And I am great at science when there is momentarily no problems going on in my life. But when I have these moments now, I get filled with fear that something very bad is about to happen.