I just had a dream where after I got shot I went to Hell. Thoughts and reactions?

Recently, I have been harboring strong antisocial and suicidal feelings, pondering about what it would be like to hurt others/kill them or myself. Each time I fell into unconsciousness, I kept experiencing episodes of sleep paralysis and when I finally fell into a deep sleep, I got off of one of the public... show more Recently, I have been harboring strong antisocial and suicidal feelings, pondering about what it would be like to hurt others/kill them or myself.

Each time I fell into unconsciousness, I kept experiencing episodes of sleep paralysis and when I finally fell into a deep sleep, I got off of one of the public transportation buses with my grandfather on it, and I walked home. But it was really dark outside in the night. There were these corrupt officers shooting at me, so I contacted a police car close by for safety. I got shot and died in the shoot out and by the time a full-on SWAT team arrived, I was already on my way to Hell. It was the most horrifying and tormenting nightmare I've ever had.

But then, the dream shifted to an alternate ending, with me surviving, but extremely traumatized. As I was brought to the hospital, begging God for forgiveness of my sins, I died and found myself uncontrollably ascending higher and higher into Heaven, and you would not believe it---even at 28 years old, I was hopping and jumping around like a little kid--I couldn't even contain myself. In that mindset, I WANTED to live forever and ever and ever and never wanted it to end.
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