Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 5 months ago

How to deal with my Fiances past?

To put it blatantly me and my fiance don't do much physically. I have a high libido while he has an almost non existant libido. However I respect him and his boudaries so we just dont do much. Tonight we were talking and he slipped up and told me he had done sexual acts with an older girl when he was 8years old.

I was.. Well.. Pretty mortified.

I know I dont have the right to judge but I got this sick feeling like.. Thats too young to know what your doing and the girl was older so.. Im just a little taken back by this.

Especially since he has no libido now?

Like maybe he just did alot when he was little or something?

I dont know, but im sure im overthinking.

I just need some advice on how to get over these thoughts and not be.. Traumatized by an event from his past.

I didn't even have my first little peck of a kiss until I was 12/13 yrs old, so this is hard to process for me.

Any advice helps. Im very open, for some reason this just gave me a pit in my stomach. Thanks guys.

Currently

I am 25yrs old

He is 27yrs old

3 Answers

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  • Kaylee
    Lv 6
    5 months ago

    Why do we always victimize the women in situations like this? Do you ever figure maybe he didn’t know what he was truly doing and maybe this older woman or female was coaching him to do that stuff? I mean 8 years old is pretty young and that’s the age where boys still think girls are yucky. I feel like you’re overthinking this and maybe should step into his shoes and try to understand the situation. Stop victimizing the older female

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    You're traumatised? How much older was the girl? Good to see you have your priorities right.

  • 5 months ago

    You sucked your mom's boob when you were younger, is he holding that against you? You just have retroactive jealousy. It's common, just gotta cahnge your mindset, do hypnosis or something, or just pretend you are only his friend with benefits forever and not his life partner, whatever it takes for you to accept

    • 9235 months agoReport

      Im not jealous, im worried he may have been taken advantage of as a child and not realised it. I do feel as though 8yrs old isn't old enough to consent to those kinds of things.

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