Fido asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 6 months ago

Did I say a bad thing? Should I try to undo it? See details below: -?

Recently I met a woman who I used to live near in a little village. I moved away from the village some years ago, and she told me she only moved out of the village recently. She said that she found the people in the village 'cliquey and in about your business'. I replied, 'Yeah, I found that too.' I went onto to say that, like her, I originally come from a large town (in an attempt to imply that big places are not 'cliquey and inabout your business, whereas small places are, hence not singling out the village we both lived in).

The thing is, I generally like the people I met in the village and found them to be quite nice people, and not especially 'cliquey and in about my business'. I feel like I've done my past neigbours a disservice, and now I wonder if I should contact the woman I spoke to and try to say I made a mistake: that I didn't find the people in the village cliquey and in about my business, but rather quite nice people in general. What shoud I do?

7 Answers

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  • 6 months ago

    No. The more you try to explain it, the deeper you'll dig yourself into a hole. It was just conversation. Let it go.

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  • Angie
    Lv 4
    6 months ago

    It is not at all necessary to contact this woman. Clearly, she wasn't happy with the atmosphere or the people in your old neighborhood, so the likelihood she will return or speak to them again is not good. You really did not say anything disparaging about your old neighbors. You did what most of us do, and that is to simply not make a mountain out of a mole hill by creating a pointless argument with someone who is, at best, a casual acquaintance. Had she ran into one of your old neighbors and said the same thing, I'm sure that individual would have likely handled it no differently. They would have listened, agreed with her if necessary in order to appease her, and moved on. It really is not a big deal.

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  • 6 months ago

    don't worry about it--IF anyone hears about your comment--and that's a big IF--then they will naturally assume someone ELSE was all up in your business---they will probably have a few guesses who it was, and they will just nod and go on with their day...

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  • `
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Why would draw further attention to yourself?

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    i would just wait till you see her next tirne,

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  • 6 months ago

    Ultimately, you decide how much emotional attention you want to give this matter. In the moment, you responded in a way that made sense to you and while your intention was not to do a disservice to your former neighbors, you obviously felt it necessary to share the same ideology. Has this choice caused any harm? Chances are the people from the village will not know what you have said so you decide your own comfort level in what you said. Then either put your focus elsewhere or make contact with this woman.

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  • C
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Let it go. You're overthinking. It was just small talk, the equivalent or two chimps grooming each other for a few minutes to show that they're friend not foe. I happen to like the rain and find cloudless skies and strong sunshine to be very tiring and yet again and again I find myself agreeing with people complaining about the rain. It's just small talk. Those people complaining about the rain might not mind it either. It's a well known human trait to make some small complaint in order to get small talk going. It's doesn't mean anything profound.

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