My best friend is engaged, he invited me to the wedding but I'm in love with him. Should I go?

On one hand I want to be a good friend and attend the wedding and be supportive. But on an emotional aspect, I don't know if i'll be ever to hold it together. When he first told me the news he was engaged I broke down in tears and couldn't stop crying for days. He told me through text he was engaged so... show more On one hand I want to be a good friend and attend the wedding and be supportive. But on an emotional aspect, I don't know if i'll be ever to hold it together. When he first told me the news he was engaged I broke down in tears and couldn't stop crying for days. He told me through text he was engaged so he did NOT see me crying thankfully. I told him congrulations while I was falling apart on the inside. I have known him for 11 years and he is by far the best I've ever met. The entire 11 years I've known him he's always been a stand up person. I think we've only ever had one arguement the entire time we've been friends because we mesh so well together. We have a lot in common so we don't really have anything to argue about. We both are on the same level financially, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. He's always been the one person that I can relate to above anyone else. When I''m around him I feel a sense of comfort, I peace, I feel true joy. I've never been as happy as I am when I've been with him. He's everything I want in a boyfriend and I don't even have to try to mold him into what I want him to be. He already has it all. I realized that I've overlooked him all these years for toxic men. I realized that I'm in love with him. I was going to call him and tell him about how I felt or write him a letter and tell my feelings but before I got the chance he told me he was engaged.
Update: I've always been in a relationship and since he has morals he has never tried to make a move. this is the first time i've been single in years and years. But my relationships with those other men were toxic, draining, and full of compelete misery.
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