Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 10 months ago

I hate my mom and dont know what to do?

Im an 18 year old dude thats going to my second year of university and i commute to school which means i still live with my parents. When i was younger i had a half brother that just ran away from home because of how toxic my mother is. She constantly screams and is aggressive blaming me for such little things making me feel like a failure all the time in the house. Its gotten so bad that i dont want to even look at her because i feel like shes going to have another outburst. She drinks alot of beer so i dont really know if thats a contributing factor. I dont just want to leave because ill have no where to go and i still have school. I feel trapped and extremely depressed that i cant get away from her. I just dont know how i can stay away from her, get my education, get a job and ultimately move out. I wish i could go live with my brother but even i dont know where he is

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  • 10 months ago

    You are angry, I suspect, and upset rather than hateful. Your mother is probably embarrassed and unhappy about being so dependent on alcohol. Can you try to turn things around by helping her build her confidence and self esteem? Could you suggest doing some sort of voluntary type work together in your community for example? You could tell her that you don't want to take her unkind comments and remarks seriously as it is the drink talking and not the person she is. Good Luck!

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    Let this motivate you to finish your education as soon as possible. This may mean taking extra credits during the school year and doing summer school. Just try to condense the time you spend getting your required credits so you can get a job and move out more quickly.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    maybe you should move out if you feel that way

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  • 10 months ago

    I believe you should try getting her some help, talk to a family member that may be able to help you and take you in

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  • 10 months ago

    You don't hate your mom, you just being over-dramatic. You just want to be independent like anyone your age. Sure, mom has some negative attributes, but you know what? You do too. Living with you is no bed of roses too. But despite that your Mom welcomes you to stay. And I bet if you think about it, you can think of a few nice things about her too. And if you focus on her positives as much as her negatives, she won't be so evil in your mind allowing you to better coexist with her.

    in the mean time think about your priorities. What is most important to you now. Then realize there are no rules that you must go to university now. You are free to get a job and move out now, then go to university later. I am not suggesting that is the best method, but sometimes being on your own for a year can help you understand life better that what seems bad is actually not nearly as awful as you think. But something tells me that you already understand this and know that your parents allowing you to live at home is a huge opportunity that shouldn't be taken for granted. That the truth is that you are just venting your frustration. That while difficult at times, it is bearable. That simply by doing what is asked of you by your parents, and staying out of sight of your Mother, taking away her ability to yell at you is a far better answer than leaving.

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  • 10 months ago

    Sometimes just asking: What hurts you so bad you have to hurt me to heal it? stops them, Forget university for now get a job and move out.You would fare better anyway with a trade school.

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Hugs babe. Hang in there. Lots of mum's have tempers like this (but lots don't too). I think it's passed down from her mum maybe partly hormones and a whole load of stuff you don't know which has made her so deeply angry. You just need to focus on your studies. Put noise cancelling headphones on. When she gets angry just focus in your head on your future plans. Be as nice and helpful as you can so you can always have a good conscience but don't provoke her or get involved because it won't help. Is there anything she likes doing so you could get out of the house and have a happy moment with her? Like going for a walk or going to the cinema? Probably not because she's so angry. So just immerse yourself. Always have a book or the radio. And don't be afraid to come here to let off steam. We are here for you. Good luck xxx

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  • 10 months ago

    Moving out will, of course, disrupt your timetable of when you want to get everything done for yourself conveniently but you certainly CAN do that. I left home at 17 and though it took me years to finish college, I did put a roof over my head, work steadily while attending classes when I could afford to and live an adult life. It is doable. You simply can't do everything at the same time. Step by step.

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