종문 asked in Society & CultureLanguages · 6 months ago

Can you read some sentences I wrote please ?

I'm preparing for TOEFL exam, and writing some English essays. But I'm not sure whether my sentences are natural or unnatural to natives. Can you read it and let me know the unnatural part?

Getting a good grade is essential because every grade counts toward the students’ overall GPAs, and GPAs matter for college admissions, and job applications. Therefore, students are usually obsessed with their grades and don’t have mental room for learning.

ㅡ> I think the expression "mental room" would be weird to natives... can I write this way?

Many school uses letter grades, and they briefly describe the adequacy of students’ performance. Their use, however, categorizes students with different scores into a same grade category, which is usually arbitrary and difficult to justify.

ㅡ> I think the verb "categorize" would be boring ( because I wrote the word "category" soon after ) and even not sure this is the write way.

Give me a lesson please!

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  • 6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think "mental room" is fine. For the second one, "category" after "categorize" is bad, I would change the wording to "categorizes students with different scores into a same grade bracket".

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    • Mountain!!
      Lv 6
      6 months agoReport

      "Mental room" is not phrase used everyday, but it is a creative word combination reflecting "mental capacity".

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