My husband and I never get time alone. Any advice?
We have three kids. 8, 5, and almost 2 year old. No one will watch them and we never get any time alone. We have not been alone since I was pregnant with our toddler. They are great kids we just travel for his work and when we are home the only family we have are too busy with their own life. I feel like it’s tearing my marriage apart. Any advice?
- boystownhotlineLv 76 months ago
Children definitely take a lot of time and energy but you need to make time for your husband too. Hire a reliable baby sitter and start setting up date nights on a regular basis.
You both deserve this!
Boys Town National Hotline
What's your source?
- Anonymous6 months ago
Take control Women, kids in bed early and be firm, stay in bed no getting up. you have to have adult time and rules, other wise it won't get any better, it gets worse the older they get.
My kids used to argue and fight most of the time, but come 8pm the rule was its adult time, and if they wanted to stay up after that time, they had to sit on the sofa and be quiet and go to bed with no issues. and if they did anything different, they would not get to stay up after 8pm for a week, no matter how many tantrums they have.
That allows you to go to bed early and have together time without being disturbed, they also had to knock before asking to enter our bedroom, but a lock is also useful. be firm but fair.
- Common SenseLv 76 months ago
Time to get a reliable BABY SITTER. You chose to have three kids and cannot expect anyone to watch them unless you hire them to do so.
Have a date night. Put the children to bed early one night a week. Then have yourself a lovely dinner with your husband, using all of your finest dishes and glassware on a nicely set table. If you do not cook, there is always take out food you can enjoy. Light a few candles and relax a spell while you enjoy one another's company.
Talk to some other moms and find a good babysitter. Then, do what other parents do, go out, watch a movie, have something to eat.
- FoofaLv 76 months ago
No, no one will watch them FOR FREE. Having kids costs money and part of that is childcare. Of course you have no time for your spouse if you have three little kids. You have to make time by hiring a sitter for date nights and when the little one's a bit older finding someone you can pay to watch them while you two go on mini weekend vacations together. Relationships don't survive parenthood unless those parents take measures to nurture them.
- What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
- bluebellbkkLv 76 months ago
It's really hard to feel sorry for people who CHOOSE to have children but don't think at all about what their lives are going to be like once they've got them.
- Anonymous6 months ago
making excuses is the problem
not lack of time
We have no children and she makes excuses all the time
sure you cannot get naked in the living room while the children are awake
but put a lock on your door in the bed room
it will be sooner than you want those children will be older and not a problem
then you will need new excuses
end the excuse and do it
PS dinner out story was pretty lame you gave... REALLY that is the problem? it could be a lot worse ...
Gets your tubes tied
- PatriciaLv 76 months ago
Do what most people do - hire a nanny. It's odd to expect your family to watch the kids all the time. You're the parent, so you need to find arrangements to make sure the kids are well taken care of. But i think you already know this.
I wouldn't watch my relatives' kids all the time. I raised my own kids already.
- KellyLv 76 months ago
Have you considered straight up hiring a babysitter?
Most people have a co-worker, friend or family member who know of someone you can hire to watch your kids for a few hours. Most of these wouldn't recommend someone to you they wouldn't trust with their own kids.
I plan my nights out generally well in advance and get my babysitting services planned ahead of time too. My husband and I are going to Cancun in November and then we have a black tie event later in November and I've got that all lined up already. Between those times we'll go to some movies, dinner and other things without the kids too.
I have 2 older kids so when they got to be old enough they watched the younger ones (and I paid them like I would anyone else) but they're too busy now (they work) so I usually hire one of their friends or otherwise... figure something out.
- Anonymous6 months ago
I don't know where you are, but in my area there is a church for people who aren't into church called 'The Meeting House.'
They have programs for every age group.
You could get to be friends with another family with the same kind of situation and take turns babysitting each other's kids.
There's nothing wrong with locking your door for 'mommy and daddy time'.
Make it a rule in your house - when the door is shut, unless they are bleeding they are not to disturb you.
Here's free councelling... they will lead you to great books on parenting so you can keep your sanity: 1-800-A FAMILY.
PS. the best present you can give your children is to lavish love on your spouse in front of them.
This will give them the knowledge that whatever happens, they are safe at home.
- SatanLv 76 months ago
8, 5 and 2 is a good age spread.
You can take them out, get them easily tired and have some quality time together, if its only a couple of hours