Oh, we understand the bible just fine, child. Usually, we know it far better than you do. It's not rocket science, you're right. It's just a compilation of primitive, middle eastern fairy tales.
Taken in its context, and without the ridiculous, childish claim that it is "gods word," and it's an entertaining, and x-rated insight into Jewish and middle-eastern mythology and culture thousands of years ago. No more applicable to today than the Brother Grimm or Mother Goose fairy tales.