Ok so there’s 2 parts to answer your question.
1) First, me and my husband both 100% agree with you. And me and my husband both have that as one of our many ground rules. We BOTH follow the ground rules.
The ground rules are:
-We won’t do anything that we wouldn’t like if our spouse did to us
-We won’t drink anywhere without our spouse- regardless of where it is. (Unless it was a special circumstance, like with a same sex friend we haven’t seen in forever, funeral after-event with family etc...)
-if it’s a special circumstance we need our spouses approval IN WRITING, BEFORE we do it or plan it
-We check with our spouse before making plans
-We run any major purchases by our spouse to make sure we both agree
-We don’t cheat (duh). Cheating is ANY TOUCHING AT ALL, or any messaging/flirting/calling period with the opposite sex.
-We ALWAYS pick up the phone
-We generally go everywhere together
2) The second part of this is there’s CONSEQUENCES for breaking this. (Read SOURCES, below)
The first part of consequences is this: If someone breaks these rules, then the other person also gets to break those rules one time in the same manner.
In your case, oh, he goes to a bar without you? Great, you go to a bar without HIM, and then refuse to tell him any details and leave him to suffer to think about what you did or didn’t do at that bar.
Next time, he won’t break the rules.
The second part of consequences is this: If one partner makes a habit of breaking these rules, then the other party will get a divorce and take the house and money. Whether that be him, or me.
It takes both FEAR and LOVE to create RESPECT. Your husband doesn’t respect you bcuz he thinks you’ll complain, but ultimately won’t do sh*t about it. So he thinks he’s free to do what he wants. You need to show him there’s consequences and you’ll take drastic action. Follow the steps me and my husband do!