I'm starting to hate the guy I love because he's christian, why is my mind so messed up?
Don't misunderstand me, I'm not some fanatic muslim girl, I'm nothing even that religious. The problem is that as a child I was badly mistreated by christian family members (they were actually muslim who married christians and converted) and from my classmates (I was the only muslim girl in a class full of christians). I dont even look like muslim, people would often ask me if I'm eastern european or greek. Anyway I started secretly hating all christian people. Then I fell in love with a guy of my country, who happens to be christian and it's all so wrong, I dont even want to develop feelings for him. On one side I like him because he's everything I have ever wanted, on the other side I hate him so much because the only guy I have loved has the same faith of the people who treated me like an animal. I am so mad about it sometimes I want to hurt him on purpose, I want to shout insults at him because he's a damn christian. As a child I was quite accepting and tolerant because of the upbringing of my parents, who are good and honest people, but after what happened (cousins thinking they were better than me cause they converted and had children with christians, muslim grandma giving money for christmas to my christian cousins but ignoring muslim festivities, kids at school hating me and making me an outcast because of my religion), I start to hate him and wish I could hurt him.
But I cant because I love him. I tried to stay away from him but he keeps on coming back and holds me tight when I cry telling him I hate him because he belongs to the bad side, that I curse him, he just hugs me and takes the insults without saying a word, wipes off my tears. Sometimes he would even joke about converting himself and says
'will they cut it even at this age? shouldn't it be forbidden?'. I dobt know what to do. The guy I wish could save me from the bad people is actually one of them. Prince charming is from the wrong side
- Anonymous10 months agoFavourite answer
Best to talk to a therapist about it. It's understandable that you're feeling this way because the pain people have caused you in the past has remained in your subconscious memory and conscious memory since they're very strong flashbacks, aren't they? Not every person is the same. There are good and bad people of all faiths. As for the interfaith part, you have to make that decision yourself. Are you okay with being with someone of a different faith? Know that even though they may be a 'non-believer', it doesn't mean they're evil/ bad. Even the Qur'an acknowledges that you're allowed to for example show kindness and live in harmony with people of other faiths who've caused you no harm.
- Peter KLv 610 months ago
You sound very insecure
Let him find someone less paranoid
- FoofaLv 710 months ago
As Muslims come in every race and ethnicity on the planet one wonders what "look Muslim" even means. At any rate, if you can't tolerate his religious leanings then you shouldn't be with him. It's clearly not his fault your relatives are jerks. But if you can't overcome this the relationship has no future.
- 10 months ago
break up. you should NEVER be in a mindframe that you could look at the person you love and actually fckn hurt them. THATS NOT LOVE. and you're kinda judging him. find somebody that suits your weird religious ways :c
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- Alan HLv 710 months ago
Hatred of any kind is immature.
Move on so he can find someone more committed
- EdnaLv 710 months ago
You hate him and you want to hurt him because he's Christian? You sound like a typical Muslim.
- 10 months ago
The Quran permits Muslims to marry Christians and Jews.
- MalcolmLv 710 months ago
You really seem to be conflicted on this point.
- 10 months ago
You need to get your own issues resolved before even considering getting into a relationship with anyone else.
- LynnmarieLv 710 months ago
If your boyfriend is joking about becoming a Muslim to please you, he is not a real Christian. And the fact that he is even dating a non-Christian means he is probably a nominal or carnal Christian at best. So I really don't think you have a problem. But if you are that upset about the situation, it would be best to break up with him. There are other guys out there. No point in having a nervous breakdown over it.
- FireballLv 710 months ago
TIME TO BREAK UP CUZ u are not open minded to accept him for himself...TIRH not dating...