Fluent speakers of English, I need your help with my English?

I need to translate a paragraph but my English is not very good as I'm not a native speaker. Should I change these lines to make it sound more natural? I'd appreciate any answers. [this is a historical and authentic eyewitness' account of a church closing process] “There was a crowd of people in the... show more I need to translate a paragraph but my English is not very good as I'm not a native speaker. Should I change these lines to make it sound more natural? I'd appreciate any answers.
[this is a historical and authentic eyewitness' account of a church closing process]

“There was a crowd of people in the church lobby.
They bowed down to the governor.
Four men stood near the grand door holding saints’ portraits and a cross.
Some children stood nearby with candles in their hands.
The church was packed with people.
The governor explained them in Russian the reason for his visit and ordered people to leave.
Someone in the crowd gave a summary of the petitions they had previously submitted and asked him not to close the church .
The governor responded that he had to close the church immediately and demanded people to leave.
The people refuse to obey his order.
The governor ordered the officials to take away the portrais from them.
Several people tried to resist giving them.
Ultimately the police, wrestling the people, torn the portraits down and broke the cross.
 As people refused to leave the church, the governor got angry and ordered the officers to drive them off with a whip.
Then most of the people left.
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