Is my brother a pedophile?
After you read this, you'll probably hate me. I've been holding into this secret for too long but I might as well share it with you. I always knew this since I was 12. I've never acted on it. I will never but can't help what I'm attracted to.
I'm a f****** POS for even getting turned on by it. I wish I was a normal guy attracted to women my age or older. Why did God place this curse me with this? I feel like an eternal child in the body of a grown man that will never grow internally. I'll never form meaningful relationships with women. I'll never have a wife.
I have no intention of ruining innocent lives. I really don't. Remember all those times I refused to participate in any gatherings with kids, the time I yelled at a kid telling him to get lost and even told you I hated kids and how I was crazy to have a vasectomy done? I already had a vasectomy. That was my way of maintaining control over it, over my sickness. Some day I feel like ending it. I hate my life. I hate myself.