Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 2 months ago

got taken down :( is this sexual assualt?

(IM 16F friends sister was 18) very drunk, at a party, in a shed, I collapsed on a lounge, My friends older sister (whom hadn’t met before) sat next to me while I was about to pass out and started rubbing my bum , sticking her hand down my shorts, was touching me etc whilst whispering repeatedly in my ear “I want to f*** you” I was very drunk and was not comprehending what she saying so I said “I know” like how you’d respond when someone tells you something over and over again, this continues and she goes further touching me whilst I sit there in complete silence slowly drifting off and suddenly my memory turns black, I passed out? when everything comes back I’m no longer in the shed, I’m pressed up against a wall in the backyard with her kissing my neck telling me she wants to f*** me, (I have no memory of getting up, or leaving the shed ) I didn’t know what was happening so I said she begins to lead me into the house where everyone is and my friend takes me away from her, long story short, she ends up getting kicked out. I won’t tell you what happened afterwards in detail but I got victim blamed. Whatever.

to this day I don’t know what she did to me whist I was blacked out and neither does anyone else, or what she planned to do to me. This happened almost 6 months ago and it crosses my mind atleast once a week if not multiple times a week. I feel like I shouldn’t classify it as assault because I don’t know what she did and she didn’t rape me, so I’m over exaggerating.

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  • 2 months ago
    Best answer

    Well, you were violated that much is for sure. You did not give her consent to touch you under your pants, nor did you give her consent to kiss your neck ETC. I mean, unfortunately its been six months and the chances of them finding any evidence or anything will be slim to none. You could absolutely report it to the police, but it will likely be a he said she said type issue as this other woman will probably insist that you were all over her as well and it was consensual. But yes you were absolutely assaulted.

    Im going to be 100% honest and blunt with you. This was a very close call for you, thank god you were not gang raped by her and a bunch of horny drunk guys. What happened to you was wrong, but it could have been SO much worse. Your young, you live and you learn. You have to really protect yourself when your at these parties. If you drink, do not get super drunk. Always have an escape plan, never drink anything that someone gives you, you get your own drinks. I would tell you not to drink because your underage, but I know that's not going to happen so I am giving you solid advice. As far as them victim shaming you, they can go sh!t in a hat. You got taken advantage of by an older female when you were impaired. That's not your fault. Like I said, let this teach you to be vigilant at these types of get togethers. Be careful out there. This is a sick world.

  • 2 months ago

    How would you know? You were drunk as a skunk. Honey, your problems are bigger than whether you were "assaulted" or not, you have a drinking problem. Definition of alcoholism I like best: "Any time it causes a problem!" You are too young to be drinking in the first place, get your act together !

    • georgia2 months agoReport

      this definitely is not a case that has anything to do with someone being an alcoholic? every teenager drinks from time to time. your 'definition' of alcoholism (if you can even call it that) is very largely ignorant and incorrect

  • 2 months ago

    Well it was a form of sex and she made it clear to you in your drunken stupor that she wanted to have sex with you.....so it would have turned into rape eventually. Yes, this was sexual assault and you could probably have gone to the cops and sued her for assault at the time. However, she probably wouldn't be prosecuted now because of lack of evidence and it's just your word against hers. Thank your friend for rescuing you. You owe her. You could call Victim Support because it sounds like you are having some PTSD about it. They will help you with counselling. You have learned a valuable lesson at a very early age. Do NOT get so drunk that you are incapable of protecting yourself. You cannot rely on someone else coming to your rescue. When drunk you are vulnerable as you have discovered. It was easy for this harpy to get you outside and interfere with you against your will but with no strength to resist her. If she had been a man you probably would have been conventionally raped - but there might well have been clear DNA evidence against him in that scenario. Just be glad it didn't happen and you aren't physically injured. You are mentally scarred though - so get some counselling via VS or your own doctor.

  • 2 months ago

    It is considered a sexual crime to use a drug including alcohol to cause another person to be able not to resist or make an informed decision regarding sex. Furthermore you're 16 years of age the person helps you to obtain alcohol! or encouraged you to keep using it for sexual purposes. Me I'd be going to speak with some adults and the law.

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  • 2 months ago

    It was certainly sexual assault as you did not consent to this happening. And you are not overly exaggerating.

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