I'm dating a guy that divorced a year ago. He speaks very highly off his ex wife. Is that good or bad?
We have only dated for 2 months and I can tell that he is very emotionally reserved. We were in bed the other day, just talking and I asked about his ex wife. He said:
"She was a beautiful person, inside and out. She meant well but we married too young. She had a lot of growing up to do and at the time I felt that I had to sacrifice too much off myself for her happiness. I know I hurt her a lot when we divorced and I do hope she finds happiness and I wish her nothing but luck and lots of love in life. But you move on. And I have learned that you can not be together with someone and forget yourself in the us. So that's what I'm doing now. Focusing on me."
Sometimes I get the feeling that he regrets divorcing her. He rarely speaks off her. But I also feel like I can not push too much because we are not there yet. How do I know if a divorcee is ready to actually move on for real?
- 9 months ago
Let him go. The fact that you are asking this question means you find it off putting and I don’t blame you.
- 9 months ago
thats good..shows he has respect. good quality there hun
- Anonymous9 months ago
Whether it's "Good or Bad" just depends on perspective.
And Frankly I think you should consider the question of whether it's 'Good or Bad' for you to give him the Third Degree about a previous relationship whether it was Marriage/Divorce or anything else.
Since typically "Divorced Guys" are required by some kind of unwritten rule of Hoyle to own and be owned by that "D'-word" stigma that sticks like a stink and often takes Years to wash off
Both typically & stereotypically because in the world of "D'-word" People, for every D-word Guy calling his Ex a Bi*ch there always gonna be a D-word Woman calling 'her' Ex a SonofaBi*ch.
And wherever a D-word Guy owns or has to own that D-word stigma in virtually Any event he's always gonna get stereotyped as One or the Other.
Especially when it comes to that frkn Third Degree one has to endure from the Women he ends up dating.
1-Are you Married?
2-Are you 'Divorced'?
3-If so, are you 'Legally' D-worded or just separated?
4-and lets not forget 'Who left Who' & Why & Who filed ect ect bla bla bla.
Loosely translated you wanna know what kind of "Damaged Goods" he is so you can determine whether or not he's Redeemable enough to consider recycling him to suit yourself or just chew him up & spit him out when your done enjoying the illusion of having a worthy BF for a while.
In other words, that Third Degree or any questions you ask him is nothing but a Bag-o-Trick Questions designed to bust his balls for things he doesn't owe you any Apologies , explanations or excuses for!
If he speaks 'Badly of his Ex he's just another irredeemable sonofaBi*tch.
And if he speaks too well of her then maybe he's not Over it yet, or oh heaven-forbid maybe he's Lying to conceal what an irredeemable sonofaBi*ch he really is!
Since after all,,there you are, wondering if it's "Good or Bad".
But to answer your question more accurately.
As long as he's willing to even 'Talk' about it or Answer any questions at all no-matter Who asks or why, he's definitely NOT in the least ready for ANYTHING that even closely resembles a committed relationship , Forget about 'Re-Marriage!
'That's only gonna change when he finally wises-up & stops letting anybody he has anything to do with to get away with trick-quizzing him into Owning & Getting Owned by that Stinky D-Word Stigma!
In other words, no-matter what Women or anybody else think,,
It's NOT like Virginity,,
The Man is gonna have to do what D-Word Dudes eventually figure out when they realize what's good for them.
STOP Apologizing & Explaining his Status and totally Lose that Fu*ked-up D-Word stigma once & for all and Re-Qualify as "SINGLE".
Gentlemen don't Kiss & Tell and Real-Men be-it for good or ill DON'T talk about Exes!
And 'Smart' single guys know well enough how to gracefully respond to inquires about personal details of their past with an inquisition-killing however Polite & Richly Qualified "Non-o-your GD'MO'FO Business!
But that's not to say that Some in the process of transition won't ultimately qualify as diabolically skillful Liars since, who's kidd'n who?,, In the Real world even under-qualified irredeemable D-Worded Sons-o-bi*ches are still gonna wanna get some sex at least once in a while just like any Other single guy.
So since he's only been D-Worded for about a year, if you don't wanna end up as just another one in a long succession of encounters that he neither Owns or Owns Him,
who's Name he won't even remember much-less be willing to answer any questions about by the time he manages to "Re-Qualify".
You might consider knocking-off the Third Degree Games & Qualify him as Man wearing an 'S' instead of just trying to Mark him as Dipstick with a stinky scarlet 'D' branded on his forehead.
- TaraLv 79 months ago
It sounds like he wanted his freedom - and to go things he wanted to do. And now he's doing it. It sounds like a defense mode for him (about her - to you) ,,, but in a nice way. Read in-between the lines.
When he gets that out of his system - he may re-think the situation.
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- 9 months ago
Its better than a bad divorce. Ask him if he can talk and set up a time to sit down and ask your questions then. If he loves you he wont mind the question or opening up to you. Just dont keep bringing up the ex randomly. That can make him dive into too much thought about the ex and resent you for that. Sit down and talk about it.
- Ace ShortyLv 79 months ago
Sounds like to me that he is way too much to himself. When you marry someone that person is supposed to be the most important person in their life but it seems like he is the most important person in his life. I think you need to move on, everything is going to be about himself.
- OcimomLv 79 months ago
Sounds like he's not entirely over her and he does regret the divorce. Until he comes to terms with that, he needs to focus on himself and heal. He's not ready to commit to another relationship. I would tell him you want to remain friends but not date anymore.
- LindaLv 79 months ago
It sounds like he has already moved on. He admits that he loved her but she was not the right one. A year is the average people resume dating after a divorce.
- HelenLv 79 months ago
It's a good thing. Your jealousy isn't.
- princess pounderLv 79 months ago
I can tell you that someone who speaks well of their ex is a better person than one who hates them.