Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 7 months ago

Am I an embarrassment to my parents?

My parents and old twin brothers (both aged 35) have been living in their country for 6 years now.

All of them expect me to sponsor them at some point. However, I never went to college (I've always hated studying) and currently working as a waitress. I have enough problems of my own.

- I don't have enough money to even sponsor 1 person, let alone 4

- I fell in love with an undocumented Colombian bf

- I'm 4 pregnant with his child now

- I'm struggling with bills

When my parents found out about my pregnancy, both thought I was an embarrassment and a failure for an American girl. My mom is very upset at this moment and said over the phone ''You were our future, out hope. I gave birth over there (US) for nothing...etc...she was ranting and fuious by then.

I guess I'm an embarrassment to my parents? Am I?


**I'm 4 months pregnant with his child now**

6 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    7 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Your parents should be embarrassed by the apparent birth tourism they indulged in just to give you birthright US citizenship. This isn't technically a crime but it should be. But you're right, you've got enough problems and almost certainly wouldn't qualify to sponsor all these people. If your family was really pinning all its hopes on you it should have kept closer tabs on you. Your parents should have found a way to get you an education (because it's hard to earn enough $ to sponsor four people without a degree). You have of course failed life so far and need to get your act together. But for your family to put all this pressure on you isn't fair either.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Linda
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    If you don't want to sponsor them, tell them. Because you're pregnant you feel they are embarrassed and ashamed of you, but if they love you, then can learn to accept you and your child.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Chanel
    Lv 6
    7 months ago

    You are not an embarrassment. Do not let anybody dictate what you should do.

    Next time you speak to your parents say calmly that you cannot sponsor anybody. They should accept that and love you for who you are. The best compliment to a child of any age is to love them whatever they do.

    Your parents may surprise you by wanting to see their grandchild once he or she is born.

    Good luck.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Maybe you are, but think about it. Mothers give children life. They do not own those lives. No parent has the right to bear children to do things for them. And if they do, the child/adult doesn't have to go along. Our lives are not supposed to be about pleasing everyone. You are not a slave.

    American woman advice: Ask your brothers and how they can help (not if they can help) pay the way over if they do get into the country. If you are serious about your boyfriend, maybe get a commitment. If you don't get married, have the baby with his name on the birth certificate and hold him responsible. That may trigger him being deported. If he doesn't want marriage or to help finance the baby, do exactly that. If he is looking at deportation or getting a job and being responsible, let him choose his preference. You should also consider adoption for your baby. You have leverage so use it. You have decisions so make them. Your family in another country sent you to America, not knowing you would have a different life. Love them from a distance. If they love you, they will want what is best for you without trying to guilt you into doing things their way. Finally, do all you can to be the best person you can be. Get educated and work. It will all work out, but don't let others control your life.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 7 months ago

    Don't know your culture. i don't know

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    If you are not prepared to study so you can earn, how do you expect to be able to raise a child?

    Deal wit( your own fecklessness, then try to build a decent life.

    How is your Colombian guy providing?

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.