Erik asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 7 months ago

How to deal with passive aggressive upstairs neighbour?

The sound insolation between floor in my apt building is non-exsisten, I can hear everything my neigbours do, but as long as it is nothing too over the top( Like hammering stuff after 1AM) I never say anything.

But this girl lives on the top floor who is very passive aggressive towards me every time I watch TV or listen to music. Keep in mind that I keep my volmue within normal range, and never watch TV or listen to music pass 9PM.

Today I was watching TV around 2PM, and she started to stomp on the floor with high heels and throwing heavy things on the floor, and run in high heels too to show me that she can hear me and she's not happy about it.

The thing is I can hear all my neigbours too, and i hear her walking around as well, but i never said anything about it, the only time I went up there and told her not to do something was that it was 1AM and she was hammering stuff...... that's it, I never went up there told her to turn the volmue down or not to wear high heels walking inside.

Anyway, should I continue to stay here and continue to be passive aggressive with her or should I move away or is there any other adult and more mature solution we can utilize without me having to talk to her?


She lives on the top floor, so there's no way living above her, and the way our apt building setup is that one apt per floor. Since no one is living above her, I guess she thinks i'm only "loud" one. And about the earphones, yes i use them after 9PM, but i don't want to wear them every time i watch tv or listen to music.

3 Answers

  • 7 months ago
    Favourite answer

    maybe you can talk to your apt manager about it

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  • 7 months ago

    Invite your neighbor to come into your place to hear how sound transfers between floors (ideally when someone else is in her unit). Chances are she doesn't know every regular step she makes is nearly as loud as her passive aggressive stomping. When she understands this she might be more contentious. That being said, this issue isn't going to go away and there is always a chance that she may move and be replaced by an even worse neighbor. Thus you should seek a new place, but this time thoroughly inspecting it in every way.

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  • 7 months ago

    If your TV set accepts earphones, that might be one way to keep its sound from bothering your upstairs neighbor.

    Otherwise, you might want to look into moving away, unless you're tied down with a lease.

    It occurs to me that if the sound insulation is so poor that you can hear all your other neighbors, she might be having issues with them as well.  You could speak with these neighbors to find out if she's complaining about their noise too.  It would be useful information.

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