Is it homophobic if i feel uncomfortable around gay people?
I'm fine with hanging out with gay people and like their company but when we shower together after gym or if we sleep on the same bed i will feel very uncomfortable even though i feel fine with it if i know they are straight
- iammclaneLv 79 months agoFavourite answer
No, it's not homophobic. You aren't disrespecting them in any way - you're just uneasy in intimate situations around them. You're letting them be them, without any interference from you (which you SHOULD do), so that's cool.
But you should realize the discomfort you feel is not brought about by THEM - it's brought about by YOU. And it's not unusual. You are concerned that you might be a subject of their sexual interest, and you don't want to be. Young women often have to deal with that concern when young men are around, and males generally don't "get" that it can cause ladies to feel uncomfortable - so if you are male you can think of this as a lesson in sensitivity toward the feelings that girls/women experience in the course of daily life. If you are female this comparison might help you understand your discomfort as something other than homophobia.
Further, if you're male, your feeling could stem from having been taught that gays are despicable, and if you don't shun and punish them, then YOU must be gay, too! That's a subtext in Western male culture - very fundamental and pervasive. Of course, it's also nonsense...but that doesn't change how such programming makes you feel. You can minimize your discomfort by explicitly acknowledging that you've been "programmed" or "brainwashed" with those associations, and by mentally challenging them.
- reme_1Lv 79 months ago
SO don't shower with them. And do not sleep in the same bed.
Then there is NO problem.
- Mx_intersex_folxLv 79 months ago
In a way, yes because how would you even know if they're gay or not if they never tell you? Many aren't your stereotypical, flamboyant gay
- ElisabethLv 59 months ago
It is ok to be repulsed.
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- Anonymous9 months ago
If you're showering and sleeping with gay people......you're gay.
- Big MamaLv 69 months ago
What exactly makes you feel uncomfortable? Like women, gay men can make it explicit when they're into a guy, but not all of them are like this, some are very discreet. Basically, you can't tell if someone is gay by just looking at them.
- Anonymous9 months ago
not is you let them touch your balls. Remember, it's homophobic you do not relent.
- nineteenthlyLv 79 months ago
The question is, would you feel comfortable in those situations if they happened with people who were differently-gendered than you and were attracted to people of your gender presentation?
- xxx000auLv 79 months ago
I am a touch confused, okay I get if you are in say a football team (team sport) your club may have showers after practice or the game, but come on, once someone has got an eye full, what more is there to see??
But sleeping together!!!! What are you on about???????????????????????????
I think your issue is in your head.
Incidentally, you say you would be fine if the other persons are straight, trouble with that logic, just how do you know they are straight, most of my gay friends you would not pick if you were not told. Its estimated that around 5% of the population is gay, that says there would be more than just one gay person in your team regardless of if they are out or not.