Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 month ago

I hate being excluded from cousins’ weddings. How do I get them to like me and include me?

My mother is on bad terms with her siblings and so all of my 16 cousins get asked but I don’t. Growing up I so seldom saw them cause my mother banned me from attending their events because her father was an alcoholic. He’s died and yet my legacy is now “we don’t know him much”. I don’t want that legacy. I want to be a family leader. It hurts.

Of the four weddings I’ve been excluded from three. I was asked to one and went and it was wonderful. Like I said though I’ve been excluded from the other ones and it hurts. I just learned there is a new engagement with a wedding next June.

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is unlikely that you are going to force your way into the entire family. If you really want to be part of it, pick one member with whom you have had some kind of good relations. Begin to build a relationship with them.

    Then invite another one or two of the members to you and that member at some kind of an event (even if just a day at the mall, a spa, etc.) Little by little begin to include the rest.

    Eventually you will have enough support that one of them will include you in a "family event" and then you are inside.

    "Divide and conquer."

  • 1 month ago

    Stop asking this question.

  • 1 month ago

    You didn't include your age, which could be an important factor. But in general: why don't you go ahead and contact the wedding planners yourself, and ask to attend.  Unless you are a very young person, you can do this.If you are indeed very young, you can still ask your parents (both?) to allow you to make contact and request attendance, despite their attitudes about it. Good luck,

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Talk to your cousins parents. You'll be a shoe in.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Face it. Your cousins dislike you as an individual.

  • Linda
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    You may never get their acceptance unless you befriend them where they get to know you as a person and not hold your mom's actions against you. The same thing happened in my family leaving me and my cousins on both sides alienated. I tried making friends with them on Facebook but we never got close. I don't let it bother me and work on my other friendships.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You've been posting this same nonsense for months (or even years). 

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