How should i break it to my mom that I am going to the other side of the globe for two months to do field research?

She cries at the thought of me moving out of state and I know she will do everything she can to stop me.  To top it off I will leave for grad school out of state 6 weeks after I return 

16 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    "Mom, I am doing field research overseas."

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Why does she cry? Is she worried for your safety? Tell her a week before you go, so that she won't be able to cause that much trouble.

  • Lili
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    My God, I lived abroad for 2 years doing my doctoral dissertation research, and I'd been gone for college and grad school (several states away) for years before that. Your mother can't handle your being gone for 2 months?

    Time to cut the apron strings, dear. Just GO.  Let her cry all she wants, but you're an adult who has to make an adult life for yourself.  Crying won't kill her.  Just keep in touch regularly. I promise she will survive, no matter how much she cries.

    Once she realizes she can't guilt and manipulate you into staying, she'll turn off the waterworks, unless she suffers from some sort of personality disorder, in which case, you need to distance yourself anyway.

  • 1 month ago

    You're an adult & do not need your mommy. Mommy is an adult and does not you. Smother Mothers are a real handicap if you allow that. Go! If she tries any nonsense to interfere, tell her you will sever all ties with her, if necessary, as you need to do what is best for your future career. You have been honored by acceptance to the field research team, so stand your ground. Simply tell her you have received this honor and are spending a couple months on the university project before you start grad school. Pack your gear & go.

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    This is her problem not yours. I am a mom whose daughter left right after college graduation. And moved to the other side of the country,  

    She needs to deal with it.  You are an adult and this is your time. It is normal to move on and start your life after graduating. 

    For me I like knowing ahead of time so I can get use to the idea. 

    Just tell her. And remind her you are an adult and time to get moving on your life and you are sure she wants you to be happy and experience some things while you are young. 

    Be sympathetic but don’t encourage her. You need to be a bit firm

    I see from your extra comment you are traveling for the first time with your university. My daughter spent the summer in England along with faculty and students from her university. This is an opportunity of a life time. You will come back with more experience and confidence. Have a great time

  • 1 month ago

    You Can Happily ‘Let Go’!

    WE HAVE learned that the urge to nurture grown children is not so easily controlled. Releasing them can be difficult. It can mean holding your breath (and tongue) as your children plunge into life. You have to shelve your image of them as cuddly babies and accept them as adults. You need to let them make their own decisions and mistakes, while letting them know you will still be there if they need you.

    You will always be a parent and you will never stop caring for or worrying about your children. But your concern should be tempered by your acceptance of their independence and the knowledge that you have trained them and instilled moral values in them. You can be confident they will succeed!

    So you need not panic at the specter of the empty nest. Letting go of your children merely opens new vistas, new opportunities, even a chance to put a new spark in your marriage. The house will seem empty for a while. After years of caring for a family, you will have to make some adjustments.

    But life has not ended. You have merely come full circle. (See source link to keep reading... Click on article entitled "You Can Happily 'Let Go'!")

  • Sandy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    try to hook her up with ladies her age so she can make friends. if she has friends and activities, she won't focus so much on you and what you're doing. 

  • John
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    I would recommend you post your question in a section of YA dealing with family issues.  Your question is only indirectly related to higher education.

  • 1 month ago

    Sounds to me like you are doing what you are supposed to be doing.....working towards making a life for yourself.

    Its not easy being a mom, not easy when kids move away but it is the way things are supposed to be.

    A parent who forgets that is not thinking about their adult child, they are thinking about themselves.

    It is your life to live, not hers.

  • 1 month ago

    It’s only for two months

    • df1 month agoReport

      Yes but it’s far away.  I’ve never traveled before and she thinks I’ll fail at it even though I am going with a university 

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