Working night shift with a newborn ?

I have an almost 3 month old daughter. I work night shift 3 days one week, 4 days the other for 12 hours a shift. I currently live with my mom and she watches my daughter while I work and to get some sleep during the day before I go back in (her father isn’t involved). I’m hoping to buy a house soon but the area I’m looking to buy in is about 20 minutes away from my moms house. She lives an hour away from my work in a very rural area so the area I’m looking in is in between her place and my job. My question is how will I be able to see my daughter for any period of time on the days I work? I could leave work, drive an hour to her house, pick my daughter up, drive 20 minutes home, spend some time with her, drive 20 minutes back to my moms to drop her off, drive 20 minutes back home, then 30 minutes to work. That’s about the only solution I can think of but that is a ton of driving. There would be no point in getting a house if I just sleep at her house on the days I work either so that’s not really something I’m willing to do and I also have pets that would be home alone for too long at that point. There aren’t any daycares near by and I would rather my mom watch her anyways but I need some suggestions on a better solution. 

Thanks and no rude comments please!

Update:

I greatly appreciate all my mother does for me and my daughter but I desperately need my own space so staying at my mothers house isn’t an option I would like to consider. 

3 Answers

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  • LizB
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    My best friend from HS was in a similar situation as you are now -- got pregnant unexpectedly, father wasn't involved, had to move back in with parents, relied heavily on parents for childcare since she was in the health field and often worked night shifts. Her son is 12 now and although I know she *hated* missing so much of his life when he was little, they are in a much, much, much better financial situation now. She did what she had to do to provide for their future, and she's done incredibly well.

    Anyway, even though I'm sure living with your mom is stressful, it might be a good idea to continue until she's at least 1, just so you can save up as much money as you can. Your commute is brutal and I don't blame you for wanting to be closer to work, but 9 more months or so really isn't that long. Make the most of it and sock away every spare dime you can, so that when you do move out you'll have a nice cushy fund for emergencies.

    As for your mom, if you got a house halfway between her place and your work, could she drive out to watch baby in your home at least a couple of days a week? Seems like it would be easier, since baby's things will all be at your place. If she doesn't want to drive out every single day, perhaps you can either alternate houses, or hire a night nanny to stay with baby a couple of nights while Grandma takes the other nights.

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  • 1 month ago

    Find a nanny / someone to come into your home to babysit. And have a back up person in case the nanny gets ill or something.

    You mean to tell me there aren't any daycares near your work place?

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  • 1 month ago

    I think for now I'd just stay with your mom and continue to save up money until your daughter is older and can understand that she spends a few days per week with Gandma.

    What are you going to do when she's in school?

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