How to improve this sentence ?

Update:

I wrote a sentence as:

The average salary of the male group is 20k, significantly lower than 30k of the female group.

But I feel this sentence does not sound right because the of preposition is wrong here. Can you help me make a better sentence?

Update 2:

I changed this to:

The average salary of the male group is $20,000, significantly lower than that of the female group ($30,000).

But I still don't feel happy with this sentence, because I want to put $30,000 somewhere in the sentence rather than hiding it in the brackets.

3 Answers

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  • JOHN
    Lv 7
    11 months ago

    The average salary of the male group is 20k, significantly lower than the 30k of the female group.

  • 11 months ago

    The average salary of the male group is $20,000, which is 33% lower than the $30,000 average salary of the female group.

    The female group showed an average salary of $30,000, a 50% increase over the male group's average salary of $20,000.

    Playing with numbers can say the same thing but give a much more impactful impression.  Don't decide for the reader what is significant, let them have their own opinion.  But a 50% increase sounds much different than a 33% reduction, even though the numbers are the same.

  • 11 months ago

    `k` commonly refers to money.

    It would be correct to write, "Thousand", or "thousand" - Your choice. 

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