Which of the following is a better parenting technique?
Note: These are not real occurrences, as they are both hypothetical.
9 year old girl,
The girl is playing in her room. She accidentally knocks over her bedroom lamp and shatters it. She starts crying because it was her favorite lamp. Her mom walks in.
Her mom yells at her for breaking the lamp and grounds her for 1 week.
Her mom feels sorry for her because she is grieving the loss of her favorite lamp. Her mom takes her out for ice cream to make it up to her.
In which scenario did the mother take the correct approach?
- 3 weeks ago
I do not agree with either situation. Yelling will not accomplish anything at all. She already feels sorry and scared about breaking it. However, taking a child out for ice cream because they made a mistake is not helpful for their growth either.
Instead, the mother should stay calm and say "Oh, it looks like your lamp broke, are you okay? Here, it's alright, I'll help show you how to clean it up. Sometimes, we make mistakes, that's part of being human." and then the mother should teach the daughter how to clean up broken glass safely. Once the lamp is cleaned up, they can talk about next steps. That would be a great time to involve the daughter in the process of choosing a new lamp, weighing appearance, what material it should be made from, cost, etc.
- .Lv 53 weeks ago
Scenario 2, the child is grieving the loss of her favourite lamp, the child needs to be comforted, not chastised. Everyone has these sorts of days, and need to feel better.
- Pearl LLv 73 weeks ago
i think the second approach is better
- Anonymous3 weeks ago
I agree with Jill. Neither approach is "right".
Accidents happen. Punishment is not needed for a true accident. Obviously the child didn't mean to break their favorite lamp. But it is also not something to be "rewarded" or "consoled" with ice cream.
My approach - Hug the child. Tell them that accidents happen and that we will replace the lamp. The child doesn't need ice cream - they need a new lamp.
One other thing to consider - treating a child to food as a consolation for bad things happening teaches the child to eat when they are having problems. It can create eating disorders.
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- JillLv 73 weeks ago
Neither. The best approach is to teach her that "sh1t happens" in life and if she's not careful with her possessions she will lose them. She doesn't need to be yelled at or grounded for an accident and she doesn't need to be consoled with ice cream in order to get over the loss.