Lumi asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 4 weeks ago

How can I get people that already know me by my first name to remember to call me by my middle name. ?

As a kid I always hated my real first name. I asked my mom when I was 12 why she named me that and she admitted she didn't have a girl's name picked out so when the hospital staff told her she had to pick a name, she literally named me after a bottle of lotion that was on the bedside table. As a kid it never occurred to me that I could just go by my middle name instead so now I'm an adult, married with kids, and I don't work. I told my mother-in-law I wanted to start going by my middle name and she was very supportive. My husband is as well though he keeps accidently referring to me by my first name. Is there any way to make it easier for people to remember to call me by my middle name. I will introduce myself by it from now on, but I rarely meet new people. Should I just wear a nametag at home and at family and friends places till people remember? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

6 Answers

  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago
    Best answer

    "I prefer to be called 'Ann' please."

    People will need lots and lots of reminders so accept that you're going to be saying this a lot. Keep in mind that "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" and don't become impatient or hostile with those who forget. Even if you have good reason to believe that they are making little effort to remember. Even if you have good reason to believe that their mistakes are intentional. 

    Along with this, you need to accept that people who called you "Lotion" for years and years will probably continue to think of you as "Lotion" rather than as "Ann." It may take years to get to the point where these people HAVE to switch to "Ann" because most people don't know who they're talking about when they say "Lotion." To family members, especially older family members, you may ALWAYS be "Lotion." The best you can do is explain to others that it's a pet name from your childhood, a name that only your family uses. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    impossible to make everyone change.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    just ask them to call you by your middle name

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    My parents never agreed on a first name for me and so I have three given names; two firsts and a middle. My mom has always called me by one and my dad has always called me by the other. My IDs look like I'm royalty with all the letters I have to use to identify myself officially. So it doesn't matter all that much what people call you informally. As long as you recognize that they're talking to you I wouldn't make a big stink about this. You're not working so it's not like you're trying to build a brand based on name recognition.

    • Lumi3 weeks agoReport

      It may seem insignificant to you, but what people call me by is a big deal to me. Nobody would prefer to be addressed by something they hate. Wether I'm working or not has nothing to do with this.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 4 weeks ago

    You don't have any power over other people's ability to remember your name change.  What you do have power over is your ability to be patient and realize the learning curve will be different for everyone.  With your husband it may be more difficult yet easier because   His learning curve may be the most difficult as your husband, but you can do things like ignore him when he uses the wrong name (or turn around like he is talking to someone behind you).  Doing so with others would be extremely rude.  You have to be more patient with them and keep reminding them every time.  Then you will have to accept some may never call you by your middle name.  Good Luck.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You do realize you can legally change your name, don't you?

    • Lumi4 weeks agoReport

      Yes, but the issue is helping people to remember to refer to me by my middle name, changing it legally would still pose the same issue. Also I can't afford a legal name change. 

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.