Boyfriend and I are moving into his new house. How much should my contribution be?

My boyfriend and I are in our late twenties and have openly discussed our future together many times. After months on the market, he has finally bought his first home! And we've decided to move in together as soon as he closes on it! Our ultimate goal is to get married so in the end, our money will be 'our money' but for now, we are not married and the house is entirely in his name. His monthly mortgage payment will be $1,250.

He makes $86,000 per year. I make $65,000 per year. Again, he has total ownership of the home. He suggested I contribute $500-600 per month. Does this seem fair based on our incomes and all things considered?

Looking forward to your thoughts and feedback! Thanks in advance.


Thanks for the answers so far... however the question isn't whether or not we should live together before getting married. That's a personal decision and we've already made it. The question is how much should my contribution be?

Update 2:

Please. If I wanted marriage or relationship advice, I would've posted a different question in a different category. I understand that everyone is entitled to have their own opinion on living together before marriage, but imposing those opinions in your answer isn't answering the actual question, nor is it adding any value. I'm not asking for permission or validation on whether or not we should live together. I'm simply looking for how much I should contribute.

78 Answers

  • 9 months ago
    Favourite answer

    He makes 25% more than you. You earn 75% of what he does.

    Splitting 50-50 would be $625 each.

    75% of $625 is $156.25

    So if you wanted to split it evenly based on your incomes, then his contribution would be roughly $780 and yours would be roughly $470.

    He already suggested you contribute $500-600 so why don't you agree to $500 and then figure out how you'll divide the utilities as well.

    Good luck!

  • 9 months ago

    Half, since you women are wanting more "rights".

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    contribute only to utilities and food. If it was an apartment then it should be even but when he's house owner and you're just a girlfriend I don't think you should be helping pay anybody mortgage when  it's his house.. But then again  it's up to you. Just know if you'll break up and house paid for with your help you most likely get nada nothing.. Good luck. 

  • 9 months ago

    If he wants you to pay part of the mortgage then your name should be on the deed also because if you decide to split up everything you have paid would go to him. I think it is a great idea to live together before getting married, that way that should give you a chance to see the real him, most people are chameleons, we can project an image that is not really us until we decide to show our true feelings, even if you are already having sex, living with someone everyday can change that.

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  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    It's easy to say his money will be your money when there's a $25,000 wage difference between your income and his. Yes, you should pay a monthly fee. First, you wouldn't have married him had the incomes been reversed. So ask yourself, if he earned 65 and you 85, would you ask for a contribution?

  • 9 months ago

    You are putting the cart before the horse....get married first and then the rest of the decisions about the house will be easy.

  • 9 months ago

    50/50 on everything sounds about right.. 

  • 9 months ago

    Pay fair-market rent until you are married.  After you are married, pay as much as you can afford up to $625/month.

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    HE is a very, very, very smart man to ONLY purchase it in his name.  That way when you all see the light and happen to break up YOU will have absolutely no claim on the property.  One only buys property with a person they have a legal relationship with or it 90% of the time ends in disaster, shack up is not a legal relationship. 

    As to your question about how much you pay this shows you will not last long enough to get married if you can not even sit down and work this out yourselves.

  • 9 months ago

    A union between you two means 50/50

    You should both contribute half to the payment and the utilities

  • 9 months ago

    There are a couple of ways to look at it. From one angle, it doesn't seem fair to help pay a mortgage when you will not share in the equity in the property, equity that will grow as you help to pay down the mortgage and as the market value of the home rises.

    But, where would you be living otherwise? With him in an apartment where you should split the rent and utilities equally - income disparity plays no part in it - or living on your own and paying 100% of everything? How much would you be spending in either of those situations?

    Compare those estimates with $500-$600 and it may not sound so unfair. If you will both be using cable/internet, calculate your half of that plus heat/AC/electric/water. You rightfully owe half of what you're using. That alone might work out to $150 - $250 per month, and then, the amount you're contributing for rent seems even less unreasonable, as his $1,250 for the mortgage remains fixed. Figure your share of the utilities at $200 and you're being asked for $300 to $400 out of the $1,250, and that is pretty cheap rent in most places.

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