Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 3 weeks ago

Do married couples require personal space or does that mean you're with the wrong person if you need 2 days or nights to yourself a week?

9 Answers

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  • Suzy Q
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago
    Best answer

    That is a perfectly natural need, nothing wrong with that.

    My husband actually travels for work a lot, and as long as it's not TOO much, we both enjoy that. He gets to see other places and meet new people, and I get to watch my favorite shows on Netflix or spend distraction-free time on my sewing. And when we reunite, we are that much more happy to see each other. In our case absence really does make the heart grow fonder. 

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    Needing and wanting are two different things but being together 24/7 is never a good idea. Other than that it just comes down to personal preference. I love my alone time and would take it as often as possible but my spouse doesn't appear to like being home alone. It's just one personality type vs. another and it doesn't mean our marriage is in trouble.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    I’ve been married for 20+ years. If I could I’d have a separate house to go stay at thruout the week! Lol I love him but he drives me crazy 

  • 3 weeks ago

    Regular days/nights apart every single week? Yeah I'd say you are with the wrong person, or are the wrong person?

    Time apart occasionally is good for both, but "needing" it during the week, every week says you are either not fully prepared to share a life with someone, or not this particular someone. Marriage should mean you WANT this other to be with you, most of the time

    Different if its just a hobby or something that isn't a mutual interest, so you two are merely doing different things that you enjoy (as opposed to just leaving your spouse to do nothing, or look after the kids while you do "your" thing on a regular basis) and its not just "going out" by yourself, or with friends that aren't friends with your spouse.

    That's my take on it anyway.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    If I didn't have personal time/space I would be in prison for killing my wife years ago. Anyone who tells you differently is either immature or a plain old liar.

  • .
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    I have 2 daughters both need mom/daughter time separate from the rest of the family. I tell my husband that daughter and I are heading out to look for this that and the other thing, he says Okay have a good time, Out we go.

    My younger daughter likes to go up the street to have a Pedicure, we put on our flip-flops, up the street we go and have a relaxing time. End of Story.

    And it also depends on how large each family is, when I was little their was a very large Roman Catholic Dutch Family with 10 children, that would cause their mother exhaustion. Every Sunday after church, she would sit on the porch and fall asleep all day and let her teen daughters deal with the dinner and clean up. This woman was out for the count, she needed her time to recuperate and recover.

    Yes, there are couples that work 40 - 60 hours a week, they need time out to recover, to do Yoga/Meditation sleep in an outdoor cot. 

    Burnout is Burnout and one needs to recover.

    Lastly, I would dare not have 10 children.... That's suicide.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Spouses should be close, but not joined at the hip. 

    If you want to walk down to the river or go play rummy with the neighbors, you invite your spouse to come too. But if your spouse doesn't want to, you accept that. You don't say "But it's not fun without you" or "I can't' go by myself." You just go by yourself without trying to pressure your spouse into doing something he/she doesn't want to do.

    If your spouse wants to walk down or the river to go play rummy with the neighbors, and invites you to come too but you don't want to, you don't give your spouse a hard time about doing without you. You say "Have a good time" and not "You shouldn't leave me here alone."

    Of course we're talking stuff like visiting friends, going to the park, working on the garden. If it's somethink like attending a funeral, attending a wedding, stuff like that, then spouses should usually attend as a couple.

    And your spouse should know where you are, what you're doing. Married people shouldn't be claiming "none of your business where I go or what I do" time. But if your spouse is pretty much available to your 5 days/nights out of the 7, then it's not unreasonable claim some "my own personal interests" time twice a week. I don't know about a 24 hour day, but my husband watching a football game with his brother every weekend and taking his grandfather for dinner and grocery shopping every Wednesday after work? Not a problem. Gives me time to do a weekly mani-pedi-facial, time to play poker. 

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    There is no one set answer to this.

    Some people have a much larger need for alone time than others.   Both my spouse and I really do not want or need human interaction all day long, although we do enjoy being "alone together" if that makes sense.  

    My spouse's sisters could yammer at each other from 6 AM to midnight and never get tired of it. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    Doesn't mean you're with the wrong person, means your priorities are wrong. Everyone needs some personal space, but a marriage takes work to make it strong. it deosn't get there by itself.

    • Suzy Q
      Lv 7
      3 weeks agoReport

      That's an odd assumption, to think that a bit of alone time once or twice a week means someone isn't putting in the work to make a marriage strong.

      For my husband and I, giving each other the freedom to do stuff without each other is PART of what makes our marriage strong. A very important part. 

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