Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 weeks ago

My parents are divorcing and I am caught in the middle. How do I get out of the battlefield and escape the pain?

I hurt all the time and I know Christmas will be hell this year with Mom doing all she can to keep us from Dad and his family while her family will be pulling me aside to tell me what a wicked man my Dad is in their eyes and giving me dirt on him. Meanwhile my Dad's family will be begrudging me if I am not with him 24/7 through the holidays and showing total loyalty to him.

I cannot take the pressure. I am 15, and should be enjoying my freshman year of high school. It was bad enough when they were together but this is 500 times worse. My Mom spent an hour this morning telling us all about our Dad's financial lies. I have no idea if any of it is true or not. Meanwhile, my Dad's mother has made 3 Christmas events and we have to be at all 3, thus upping the pressure her fury will be on me if I miss them cause my Mom will be making it difficult for me to get there (I cannot drive at 15). Lastly, my Mom just informed me my Dad is sleeping with a woman. Most likely that is a wild embellishment cause he is socializing with a single friend of his sister's.

My parents split in April.

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  • 3 weeks ago
    Best answer

    I think your first plan of action is to confront each of your parents when they start their BS stories about each other in front of you, their child.

    I think it would be a good idea to let each of them know that you're not a referee and if they have an issue with each other, they need to discuss it with each other over the phone and not with you. And you can come right out and tell them you're tired of being abused with their criticisms of each other (because talking about each other in front of you is emotional abuse).

    And if your dad is sleeping with a woman, good for him, i guess. That's also none of your business and something a Mom doesn't need to talk about with her fifteen year old daughter.

    It seems like your parents (especially your mother) are emotionally 10 years old. And bitter people.

    As far as the three christmas events, i think that at 15, you ought to be able to choose one to go to or all or none if that's what you want. And if you can't get there, can you take Uber or something?

    I'm sorry your parents are behaving like morons.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Set and enforce limits "Mom/Dad I'm not interested in all that. I'm tired of hearing you guys bickering about the other. Stop putting me in the middle"

  • 3 weeks ago

    you are only caught in the middle if you don't stand up for yourself.

    You don't listen to your mom, you don't listen to your dad.

    refuse to talk about it, refuse to take sides.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    i would just ask the people you want to see if they can pick you up

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Well I can relate to you alot on this one, im 17, both my parents are split and each side if the family has been throwing there shade on each other for years now, my mom is particularly bad, making up horrible accusations against my dad which are extremely upsetting.

    But something I have learned that helps me with the pain of all of this is just not to listen to them, yes I do understand this seems impossible.

    Whatever things your parents are saying About each other, just don't believe it, unless you know it's true.

    And if a parent asks who you love more or who you want to stay with, be honest.

    Don't agree with one side, then another.

    It doesn't work out.

    Sorry for the crappy writing it's really late

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