Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 2 weeks ago

Could this be signs of autism ?

My boyfriend has a 3yr ol about to turn 4 in a week. He is a handful to the point right now I can’t be around him because I just lost our daughters at 21weeks and he is a lot to handle. He cries all the time throws temper tantrums when he is losing a game he doesn’t know how to play on the tablet.( throws the tablet down and starts screaming crying) wants you to pick it up and give it back to him only for him to repeat. He fears nothing and thinks everything is funny. He refuses to listen. Runs into walls and constantly trips. He cries all day about everything( no seriously all day) he has a little brother and sister who act better. He doesn’t know how to speak yet he says words( dad, eat, play sleepy) he can’t make full sentences like other kids his age. He hits himself when he is upset and cries. He refuses to share anything and wants things that are not his even if he has the same thing. I have never witnessed a child like this and I work in a daycare. I told my boyfriend instead of spanking him all the time to get him evaluated because it could be something more going on.

4 Answers

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  • 2 weeks ago

    It's hard to say, he could just be neglected and abused.

  • 2 weeks ago

    This does sound a lot like autism but either way that's no excuse for bad behavior. For example if he's throwing a tantrum over losing a game, do a supernanny style timeout and talk to him about how games are more about having fun then it is about losing. I'd also recommend not playing as many win or lose games with him until he gets older. If he throws the tablet on the floor, take it away and say in a firm voice " We don't throw the tablet on the floor" and don't give it back to him for awhile. You should also explain why he shouldn't throw the tablet on the floor because he probably doesn't understand that he could damage the tablet from doing that. If he hurts himself, try putting him in a safe area where he can't hurt himself and if he cries tell him " I can't understand you when you're crying" and walk away. Once he calms down, ask him why he was so upset and try to help him solve whatever problem he's having. I'd also recommend giving him plenty of positive attention when he's doing something good such as drawing a picture for you or if he does good in one of his activities such as a sport or game that he enjoys.

  • Namito
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    If he harms himself when he is angry that is indeed a sign of autism.  If you have a primary care physician or a neighborhood clinic that can provide low cost medical care definitely make an appointment.  I hope you can a babysitter to find several hours to do self care.  Like a bath while he is stacking blocks or looking at picture books.

    I am really sorry for you loss, and I understand you want a bit of time to grieve. If you can find a friend to watch him for a few hours, get some peace and quiet and time for a little self care.  To help him you have to feel emotionally balanced yourself. 

    The bottom line is you are the person to step up to help advocate for his development.  I am guessing in the daycare where you work toddlers are not handed tablets.  He does not need to play on a tablet. 

    To achieve three year old milestones he needs to have a chance to explore.  As a person who has worked a lot with preschoolers this may sound like a familiar list of things to do with him.  He needs help to achieve cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)  skills:

    Can work toys with buttons, levers, and moving parts

    Plays make-believe with dolls, animals, and people

    Does puzzles with 3 or 4 pieces

    Understands what “two” means

    Copies a circle with pencil or crayon

    Turns book pages one at a time

    Builds towers of more than 6 blocks

    Screws and unscrews jar lids or turns door handle

    You've known him since he was one.  Another person said you are treating this child like garbage.  That's pretty strong language but the environment you provide for the child will result in the adult they will become.  Eventually he needs to read, count, and dress himself.  You need to guide him into mastering those tasks.  

    You can see he is beginning to understand the emotions she is feeling, he - honestly - still has very little control over them. Because he has some serious pent up emotions of frustration because she desperately wants that one on grown up care. Right now he does not know what his feelings are, much less how to control them. 

    I'm not sure that his father hitting him upside the head helps.  If you read other responses one school of thought is to beat the child into submission.  Try that if you want.  

    Rather than trying physical discipline that way I'd redirect and instruct "We use gentle hands"  then out some toys or household objects you already have, like plastic cups to stack or fill with toy cars.

    Best wishes

  • 2 weeks ago

    NO he's just spoiled. its always sad and sick to see people who refuse to discipline and go right to a label 

    He cries all the time due to his parents not smacking him. He throws tantrums due to his parents not smacking him. 

    No three year old should EVER be on a tablet 

    He refuses to listen since you keep telling him do something instead of telling him once and only once and when he won't do it you smack them

    He doesn't speak since you don't make him 

    He hits himself again due to you not smacking him 

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