Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 8 months ago

Should a mother be faulted and made guilty for not ensuring the well being of her son?

If a mother has a mentally ill adult son, who is 34 years old. And if that son is on the verge of losing everything he currently has. Material possessions, his home, his pets, clothing, no food. Most of all no shelter over his head. Who is responsible for the fact that he is now in a suicidal state of mind? Due to his anxiety of waking up each morning , not sure if he's going to fail?

Is his mother setting him up for failure? Keep in mind , that this child did not ask to be mentally ill. The mother is the one who carried out a full term pregnancy. Also some people require long term care well after they're aged 18. If a child became injured in a way which he or she had to use a wheelchair for the rest of their life... Then the mom cannot expect her child to magically be able to walk and care for him or her self at age 18.

Is it the mental health Care system who is setting the said person up for failure? Poor treatment and not enough resources?

Or is it the social security disability administration who is at fault?

Or should we hold the 34 year old man responsible for caring for himself and providing his own needs? Even though he is doing the best he can . But is still likely to fail , because he isn't receiving adequate help? Which will ultimately result in his death.

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    It's always easier to answer stuff like this when it's not in 3rd person.  If you had just described what exactly happened, it would be easier to respond.  In other words, your questions are good ones, but they don't have yes or no answers. 

    Just taking a wild guess, I think several people are responsible, starting with mom.  That's because everything starts with parents.   The day he graduated from hs, mom should have gotten him into high gear.  There are load of home based jobs, everything from graphics to IT to medical transcription. They pay well, too.   And it's even possible a job wouldn't have to be home based.  Get him into online courses with something that interests him.

    Also, most larger cities have group homes for people in his situation.   Everyone needs to be self supporting, but rents are lower and he builds a support system for himself.  Many places have transportation help.

    If he's 34, everything will be a lot harder now.  Sure, at some point he became responsible for himself, but it's so much easier when parents are doing the most fundamental job of all:  preparing their child for adulthood. No 18 year old is ready to jump into the adult world right away, but what a mom needs to require is progress towards a goal.  Also, if his dad was never in his life, this too is a big negative.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    probably if he needed the help and didnt get it

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