been living next door to a couple for almost 30 years now and not once, not ever have they said good morning, how are you ?


besides a rare polite downward nod of the head and minimal eye contact, i've never heard the man or his wife ever say good morning or wish me a happy christmas or try to break the ice and get friendly.

i feel like a fool when, out of politeness and common courtesy I say hello or good morning to either of them, and in return I get the most tired disinterested smile back and the famous downward nod of the head before they vanish back into their house.

i really do have this urge to just ask them, why are they so stuck up the way they are and what is it, about acknowledging your next door neighbor that terrifies you so much ? do they suffer from an illness im not aware of which causes them distress if they express kindness and happiness outwardly to others ?

how would you deal with living next to people like this ?

8 Answers

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago
    Favourite answer

    I can understand the uncomfortable, prickly feeling they no doubt elicit. But some people really are unfriendly and prefer to keep to themselves. Surveys are occasionally done on how well you know your neighbours and it's quite common for responses saying they've never met or spoken to them. At least you don't have loud, quarrelsome or noisy/partying, drug addled neighbours with vehicles constantly coming and going, some with loud exhausts. Things could be way worse, if that's any consolation. 

  • 10 months ago

    they are just busy working maybe....we have mexicans on one side renting from the owner and on other side an Italian guy with his wife...they are sweet.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    You must live in L.A. because that’s pretty typical here.

  • 10 months ago

    Your idea of accusing them of being stuck up or terrified is a very bad one.  It will do nothing but make your neighbors angry at you.  They just might start calling the cops for any little thing and making your life a misery, until you move out.  Be thankful they are quiet and willing even to acknowledge your existence with a nod.  In my part of the country, a little wave and a smile is all we expect from each other.  Everyone likes their privacy.  The only time we strike up a conversation is when there is something interesting to talk about, like do you think that wildfire will come this direction?  Those are lovely flowers, would you mind if I collect some seeds, I'd love to grow some.  I see your lawnmower is broken, can I mow your lawn for you.

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Not everyone is into the chat mode with neighbors.  After 30 years, I would simply accept that is the way they are.

  • 10 months ago

    Maybe they are just not friendly and want little contact with the neighbors.

  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    You're jumping to so many conclusions!

    Why would you assume they're stuck up?  Or terrified of you?  Or ill?

    It's probably that they're shy, introverted and/or suffering from social anxiety.

    You don't have to 'deal with' living next to them.  You should just respect their wish to be left alone and not talk to you.  They aren't obliged to, you know!

    Don't judge them or think they're rude.  Some people have no wish to be friendly with others simply because they happen to live next door to them.  They have the right to keep to themselves.

    Get on with your life and leave them alone.

  • You probably should have voiced your concerns nearly 30 years ago.  It's a little weird to get upset now.

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