My kids are not Abused but their father s behavior isn t right either?
I posted a question earlier and everyone is saying it s abuse but my kids don t feel scared of their father. They tell him they want ice cream and he gets it for them. Both act very babyish for their age around him. They have good and happy lives. But my husband s behavior when he is upset is often wrong. I want to divorce him but it s so complicated with the kids and I worry about him getting custody too. Does anyone have better advice?
- Dr. StephanieLv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
I read your previous entries as well. You,my dear, are living in an abusive relationship that is pathologically harmful, and potentially physically dangerous as well. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1 800 799-7233, 24 hrs, and talk with someone who may be able to help you see clearly and guide you through this troubled and even dangerous time. Your children cannot help but be exposed to this pathology and abuse, if not now, soon enough, and this will affect them greatly. Talk to a family law attorney, go to a legal clinic, if you feel you cannot afford to do otherwise,though usually, initial consults are free. I'm guessing that you would have no problem retaining full custody of your children. Yes, it is all "complicated", stressful, even possibly dangerous. But you are in a TERRIBLE situation and you really do need to get out of it, to protect both yourself and your children. Do know that with abusers, unless they are in successful treatment, which isn't often the case, that they persist in a cycle of abuse, apology and regret, and then more abuse , which becomes more and more violent over time. Including the possibility that their victims are killed. Your children cannot help but be negatively affected, even if they seem to be okay ....for now. Please take what I say seriously, good luck,good wishes,
- Chae-wonLv 52 months ago
I would report this behavior and online mean nothing. Get real help. I am done with you.
- RPLv 72 months ago
If you and he are desirous of improving your relationship, you might want to consider ccuple counseling.
- Andrew SmithLv 72 months ago
When you get married you agree to treat each other as equals. Now you are deciding that YOUR opinions on child rearing are correct and therefore he is wrong. My advice is to start talking to your husband. LISTENING to him and also outlining your concerns. TRY being married.
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- Anonymous2 months ago
Yes, here's better advice. Remember what you post from hour to hour. An hour ago you were divorcing him. Now you just want to divorce him.
Meanwhile, the a$$ you chose to marry beats up the family dog, the children and you.
You will be investigated, and neither one of you will have to worry about custody. The children will be awarded to the State.
And you continue to defend the child abuser. Sad.
- Anonymous2 months ago
This is how incredibly stupid you are. This is the man you CHOSE to have children with. This is the same man who abuses your dog.
Reported - those children are in danger. If he decides to kill you, well, it's your choice to stay. Your children don't have a choice.
"My husband has done worse to our dog but we are still together right now. A bruise doesn't show up that quickly so either you are making this up or she has done it before when you weren't there. My dog had a huge welt on her eye within an hour. He also stomps on her paws, squeezes her mouth shut on her tongue, etc. Someone who abuses animals will likely also abuse children."
CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE AS F*CKING STUPID AND CARELESS WITH THE LIVES OF YOUR CHILDREN AS YOU APPEAR TO BE? He abuses you; he caused your child to choke; he beats up on the family dog.
But the good news, according to you: He buys ice cream for the kids.
- Anonymous2 months ago
Yes, here's my better advice. STOP STANDING THERE WHILE YOUR HUSBAND ABUSES YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN. STOP STANDING THERE EXCUSING HIS BEHAVIOR WHEN YOUR HUSBAND ABUSES YOUR CHILDREN. You don't "get it?" Then you need to be reported. Let CPS find you using your IP address.
In case you forgot: YOUR QUESTION: “Husband made our daughter choke on her food? She's 6. He was yelling at her that she's not eating fast enough then spanked her. She had her mouth full and choked on her food. She coughed it up so hard she puked, then he yelled at her for that and told her over and over it was very bad of her. Would this be considered abusive?”
MY ANSWER: You have posted 10 questions about your increasingly violent marriage, your husband's abuse of you and the children, your willful neglect of the children. He has abused your daughter and YOU have done nothing to protect her. I predict that when Child Protective Services reads this you will lose custody and, very possibly, both of you will be jailed. I'M A LICENSED SOCIAL WORKER - this needs to be reported and investigated. Here's your quote: "Why don't I love my kids anymore?" You are no longer functioning? You no longer have any interest in safeguarding your children? PUT YOUR CHILDREN'S IN THE CUSTODY OF A RELATIVE OR THE STATE! You are busy having an affair (and you've posted several versions of the affair), but have no time for your children? "I'm in a 10 year abusive marriage and have an online 1 month relationship, what should I do? I tell the online man when my husband rapes me, as per his wishes, but he responds by saying I enjoyed it or he's glad I'm having a nice day. I feel so angry and blame myself for staying. And I hate that he doesn't believe me. I started drinking recently to cope with everything and I'm seeing a psychiatrist this week (husband's wishes). I feel so messed up and need advice. I'm no longer functioning." And you claim to be in some form of on-line therapy? Ridiculous and disgusting."
EDIT: Threats are empty. Promises are something else. I just report. I don't investigate.
- mokrieLv 72 months ago
Divorce before the kids are over 6 years old is known to mess them up for life. Better that you stick it out until they are over 6 for their sake and then divorce if that's what you want. Are you sure you want the divorce for their sake or for your own. Kids would rather have 2 parents for a feeling of stability. If you can no longer stand your husband then maybe some marriage counseling would help to get through another year of two before the break up.