So me and my 5 yr olds father are not together I have sole custody ?

he has visitation only. My 5 year old hasn’t seen him since September and his father called and wanted to pick him up today... my son doesn’t want to go I even had them talk on the phone he wouldn’t change his mind.. this puts me in a tough spot because he won’t give me a reason why he doesn’t want to go but is firmly stating he doesn’t want to go... what do I do?

Update:

I have sole legal decision making sole custody all his father has is visitation nothing set for specific days 

11 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    He's five, so you make him go. Better your son spends some boring time with the father he barely knows than that you get arrested for custodial interference. You can always go back to court to try to end the visitation if you've got real reasons to.

  • 8 months ago

    Make him go. He's 5, not 15.

  • Tepee
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    If possible you should invite his father to visit in your home first to see if they can reconnect.

  • 8 months ago

    You're making a much bigger issue than this needs to be!

    Your ex wants to see your son, your son doesn't want to have anything to do with him, here's the thing, you hold the tie breaker here. If it comes down to a choice between what your ex wants vs what your son wants, its a no-contest, you choose your son everytime!

    Your son doesn't need to give you a reason, just because he's a child, it doesn't mean he owes you any real explanations here. All you need to know here, is your son doesn't want to keep in contact with his father, you as a parent need to respect that, and not force your will, or your ex's will on your child, this is not up for debate here.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    ask your son why he dont want to go, he might have a good reason

  • 8 months ago

    When my kids were 5 I didn't let them lead my life because I recognized they lacked the experience to make informed decisions. What do you do? You get him ready to see Dad until the family court tells you otherwise.

  • 8 months ago

    Go with them. If the father objects tell him that It will help the child to be more comfortable around him and give him the confidence to trust his father more in the future. It is his own fault for leaving it so long between visits. One would think that he has given such little notice that a court would support you. Good Luck - and make a deal with his that neither of you will ever criticise the other when the child is around. The boy's interests must come first, of course.

  • y
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    He doesn't want to go for the same reason many kids scream when they are dropped off at daycare. Becouse they don't like the change. This is nothing new, it certainly doesn't mean abuse as many jump to.

    What do you do, you figure out a set visitation schedule and tell dad to stick to it. This coming and going crap is not good for the child

  • ?
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Your son is uncomfortable. He is telling you in a very straightforward manner, that he is uncomfortable. What should you do? You should listen to him. His sentiments may or may not be reasonable to you, but he is entitled to his feelings. Respect his feelings. As his mother, it is your job to nurture him and provide him with a safe and loving environment within which he can grow and develop.

    Obviously he feels he doesn't know his father sufficiently well enough. It is his father's responsibility to get to know his son better. Having a son is not the same as having a puppy dog... you can just come around and cuddle him when you feel like it.

    Best wishes.

  • Linda
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    It's pretty normal for an ex to have visitation rights to see their child. It's very unusual that your child doesn't want to see him and it sounds like his dad is abusing him either emotionally or physically or both. Keep him home and try to find out from your child why he doesn't want to go after he calms down. This is a huge red flag to me. This sounds like a tough dilemma and you may have to go back to court and change the visitation if at all possible. Good luck!

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