Han asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

How can you "love yourself"?! ?

Just posted a similar question.  But I want on focus on this part alone. When someone knows themselves so well - their faults and weaknesses and their ugly side, all the horrible mistakes in the past, all the voluntary and involuntary pains inflicted, HOW can someone just pull a mat out and sit in their pyjamas and start meditating to love oneself?! Shouldn't you chide yourself when you slip? Isn't that fair? Isn't loving yourself despite your mistakes at times selfish? How do you balance all this? 

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  • 1 month ago

     I have seached any reason to love myself but i was not found it. Sadly. So i hate my life and myself. nauseously

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  • 1 month ago

    First of all to really love yourself you need to throw out everyone else's opinions it's not relevant to you or your life. Loving yourself despite your mistakes does not make you a selfish person it simply means you're smart and strong enough to love yourself and accept yourself even though you're not perfect. Which no one is perfect. Also just because you love yourself despite your mistakes does not mean you think that the mistakes you made are okay or that they are no big deal. I think you're kind of wanting to jump ahead from how it sounds but you can't go from hating yourself to loving yourself in one day it's not a sustainable or realistic way of thinking. Loving yourself is something that comes with working out, eating better healthier foods and only eating unhealthy one to three times a week, and it's understanding that you can't beat yourself up if you wanna love yourself also it's a process and it's good to right your wrongs it's good to correct yourself but being tough on yourself forever for something that's already gone and past is very counterproductive so try not to do that.

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  • 1 month ago

    The theory is that if you love yourself, you would automatically fix your faults and weaknesses because of the power of the mind but that doesn't work very well in real life. 

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  • Darcie
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Hi 👋,

    In order to be able to take better care of others and be kinder towards others, you need to love yourself. The Dalai Lama would say that in order to love and be kind to others, you need to love and be kind to yourself.

     You have faults, but so does pretty much any other human being. You need to love and be kind to yourself.

     Think of a great friend or family member of yours. They have their good points and their bad points. They make mistakes and need love and kindness. What do you give them? Love and kindness or hatred and criticism? You are a sentient being. I wish for a world in which there is no suffering of any sentient beings, and no unnecessary violence. Striving to reduce suffering in the world is excellent but, a great place to start is with reducing your own suffering. Any suffering remedied, whether it be of you or any other sentient being/s, is great. Why not take that step and start being nicer to yourself?

     Here are some ways in which you can become nicer to yourself:

    1. Meditate. Play some relaxing music. Notice any sensations in your feet and relax your feet, and then move onto your lower legs, knees and calves, upper legs, sitting area, hips, back, abdomen and tummy, your chest, your shoulders, your arms and hands, your head and neck and face. Then, take a deep breath in and say (either out loud or to yourself) “let” and then breathe out and say “go”. Repeat ten times, or until you are relaxed. Then, imagine yourself extremely happy and calm and peaceful, in your most peaceful place. This could be your home, your childhood home, the home of loved ones/friends, a beach, the woods, a field, a park or anywhere else you find peaceful and relaxing. Say “May I be perfectly well, healthy, happy and safe forever.” You, like all sentient beings, deep down, just want to be happy, well and safe and thrive. Wish those things for yourself. Say “I offer me great love and compassion.” Then move on to do the same with your family, your friends, the beings in your area, in your country, in your continent and then all beings everywhere, in this world and in all others. Offer all beings everywhere, including you, boundless love and metta. Do this every day.

    2. Write down all the positive things you can think of about yourself, all your good qualities and all the things you have achieved. Read these every morning and every evening.

    3. Do nice things for yourself. Take nice walks. Go nice places. Do (non-violent) things that you enjoy 😉. Give yourself some treats. Buy nice things for yourself. Hug 🤗 yourself. Write yourself a nice card.

     Please do all of these things for you and others:

     1. Eat a healthy, well-balanced, whole-foods-based vegan diet, or at least reduce your meat consumption, go veggie and then vegan. Eat plenty of beans, vegetables, fruits, tofu, nuts, whole-grains and favourite foods. Keep unhealthy foods in moderation.

    2. Exercise regularly. Do yoga 🧘‍♀️. Go to the gym. Go for walks often. Go running and/or jogging. Go cycling 🚴🏻‍♀️ 🚵‍♀️ 🚴‍♂️.

    3. Practice good hygiene. Shower every day (wash your body, your hair and your privates. Use vegan, cruelty-free products. Use specially formulated stuff on your privates. You don’t necessarily need to wash your hair every day, but use a gentle shampoo that is also very effective). Clean your teeth and use mouth 2-3 times per day, and floss every day. Use cruelty-free, vegan deodorant. 

    4. Make yourself look good. Use cruelty-free, vegan makeup 💄 , dress nicely, groom yourself and use cruelty-free, vegan facial products.

    5. Take up a new (non-violent, ethical) hobby and do plenty of things that you enjoy 😉.

    6. Get up earlier.

    7. Get to bed earlier, and get at least 8-9 hours of decent sleep every night.

    8. Meditate every day.

    9. Go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️ when need be.

    10. If your mental health is really suffering, see a therapist or counsellor.

    11. If you love animals and can have them, why not adopt rescued animals? You could gain a new great friend. Animals can change your life for the better and be great therapy. Keeping animals has health benefits (look them up using Goodsearch, Everyclick and/or Ecosia, supporting good, ethical and animal-friendly causes). Plus, adopting a rescued animal/animals would be doing a great and compassionate deed and could benefit the animal/s a lot and could even save their life/lives. Please do plenty of research both on the species and on any breeds/types you may have in mind first, using reliable, up-to-date books and programmes (bought off of Amazon Smile, eBay for Charity and/or charity shops, supporting good, ethical and animal-friendly causes).

     You deserve your love and kindness, despite your faults.

    I send my metta and support your way.

    Best Wishes to all,

    Rory.

    Have the best day and night ever!

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Only attractive people love themselves

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  • 1 month ago

    Loving oneself is a myth. We can't love ourselves. We can respect ourselves or not, which depends on our behavior. Love requires two people.

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  • 1 month ago

    It requires that you care about yourself

    First, therefore you would forgive and

    Learn from errors, care about your self-

    esteem, eat low GI foods and h2o as

    Per. Doctors instructions, etc.

    Talk and respect yourself as if you were

    Your own best friend, and grow into that

    idea and become it too

    Thanks 

    Very Best Wishes 

    Mars 

    Source:) Personal views cited 

    Good book on this is 

    Respect yourself by Noel McGrath 

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  • 1 month ago

    That is only a saying that's gotten worse through the years.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    you might need god's help to do that

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  • Wilson
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    No. You shouldn't rebuke yourself when you make a mistake. 

    Learn from that mistake but don't beat yourself up over it. 

    Anything else is unhealthy.

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