Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 8 months ago

How to get those years back?

I was raised by a controlling indulgent parent who wouldn’t let me grow up. My mom has psychological issues. The only reason she stopped treating me like a baby was because I figured out what she was doing. If I didn’t figure it out, she would’ve continued like before. She wanted me to remain a child forever. She was very cruel to do something like this to me. I missed basically the entirety of my youth when I should’ve been exploring. Even when I became a teenager, my room remained like a child’s and I dressed like a child still. I was basically frozen in time. She tries to guilt-trip me by saying she has done a lot for me and that other than her, no one else would love me blah blah blah. I basically lived for her. I could not move on. I could not study well or make friends or basically do anything. Trying to get myself to do anything was like dragging a hundred ton elephant. It’s like trying to run a race with weights on my feet. I was bound to fail. My grades didn’t matter, my personal growth didn’t matter, my social life didn’t matter as long as I remained her baby forever. Of course she thought I was okay because we were living in her fantasy.  My childhood lasted eight years longer than it should’ve. She has severe control issues. She says I don’t even try when it comes to homework or anything. How in the world do I try if I’m being controlled like this? She took care of everything instead of letting me do it myself. 

Update:

She give out this air that anything goes and that she wants me to remain the same forever. She says she is doing this for me. She’s not. She’s doing it for herself-so she has an eternal child to take care of. She would never admit it of course. In her mind, she’s forever the best parent. In her mind, I was the child who could never grow up, not her fault. 

Update 2:

She says she wants me to grow up but in her subconscious, she wants me to remain a child forever. What she says and how she actually acts are two different things.

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 8 months ago

    There is no way you can get those years back.

    Move forward and do not look back.

  • 8 months ago

    You can't get those years back, you move forward. You know her game now. Try to do your best and live by the golden rule: Don't do to others what you hate. If you can do that, you will do well in life.

  • 8 months ago

    sounds like you have a maladjusted parent, you know what you know now so you can only move on and try to change things from here on in.

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