Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

My wife said this is disrespectful.....?

So this came back up recently. I been married to my wife for two years. She has two kids. Anyhow  the kids spent a few weeks at their uncle's house (biological father brother) to hangout with their cousins. The uncle would facetime my wife every night to talk to the kids. When I ask to speak to the kids or say hello she would say no and later tell me she felt it was disrespectful cause It was the uncle's phone on the other end. They're about to go over there for a week during Christmas vacation and I dont want to go a week without speaking to them. To resolve the issue we got the eldest a phone to communicate with us but, I'm trying to figure out why she thought it was disrespectful to talk to them on the uncle's phone? 

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  • YKhan
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I think she may have been worried about long-distance charges for the uncle's phone. I understand the sentiment, but she's costing the uncle for her talking time too, which is still disrespectful. If she's worried about the costs, then she should offer to call herself. Also most plans these days include long-distance charges within the US anyways, sometimes even to Canada and Mexico too.

    But you mentioned that they were talking through Facetime, which doesn't have any long-distance charges. So maybe she's worried about data charges? But if he's at home, he's likely using WiFi, so there won't be any data charges either. I'd explain these to her, and tell her to stop being difficult.

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  • 2 months ago

    Why don't you tell her that you will call them back when you get off so that it doesn't cost him anything? She getting much money from their father? That is being very disrespectful to you.

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  • 2 months ago

    You are two years into a family you will, hopefully, be a member of for another 3+ decades. It was a good idea to get the eldest a phone if they are old enough to be responsible with one. It is likely that the Uncle is still grieving the loss of his brother... who might be a man you never met however there is no rush for him to cease grieving his brother and accept you completely as the father of his brother's kids. I've been a stepmother for 34 years and there was nothing about 2 years that held any significance to full membership or acceptance. Five, six + years? A whole different story. Two decades in? Another whole different story. By the time step grandkids entered into the picture? Everyone embraced that I'd "paid my dues" and was a full GrandMa in every way. Please try not to be offended. You are included. You are stepDad. It's okay that you are not plugged in as replacement in everyone's mind and heart yet. It's okay. Time really does make a difference.

    • YKhan
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      Where did it say he was a deceased? I assumed it meant they were divorced.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Her ex must not have taken the breakup well and she feels that involving you with the uncle would just make her coparenting with him more difficult. Estranged coparents often have to go to extremes to keep an irrational ex from making trouble.

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  • Ana
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Bro, you’re being cuckolded. You’re just being used for your money and wallet. Your wife doesn’t respect you at all.

    THATS why she “felt it was rude”. She’s basically saying “LEARN YOUR PLACE, MAGGOT.” Like literally that’s what she’s saying to you indirectly. It’s like “oh yeah I like when you pay all my kids food bills, clothing bills, medical bills, the house mortgage... but oh, if you try to talk to them around my ex husband I’ll shame you and pretend you don’t exist.” 

    Like wtf dude I would have backhanded her into next week (ok not really bcuz I’d be in prison) but I would have loudly told her she’s being an evil b*t ck and how dare she say that to the guy who’s paying for her damn kids in the first place. Like who does she think she is treating her husband that way! 

    Ask yourself: Why isn’t she breeding with you and providing you a child of your own biological dna? Oh yeah it’s cuz she doesn’t respect you and doesn’t see you as fit to mate.

    I don’t say this to be mean bcuz I wanna help you. I say it so that you’ll wake up to reality. She married you so you’d pay her bills. She’s probably (definitely) still f*ucking her ex.

    Hire a private investigator tomorrow, catch her in her cheating and then promptly divorce her a*ss or better yet annul the marriage.

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  • David
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Well, she is entitled to her own opinion, even if it is WRONG. If you have a good relationship with the kids, then there is nothing disrespectful about wanting to talk to them. If the Uncle got upset about that, then the uncle would need to GROW UP.

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  • 2 months ago

    I have no idea at all why she thought it was "disrespectful" because it was her Uncle's phone. If he was waiting for a call or got an important call during Facetime, he'd know it. So he wouldn't miss a call if he were expecting one.

    Maybe your wife is just being ms controlling. Not sure

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  • 2 months ago

    Explain why you're asking us instead of asking HER, or we'll all assume you're just one more anonymous troll.

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  • 2 months ago

    Try asking her?

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    The only way to know for sure is to ask HER.

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