Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 10 months ago

My son is drinking vodka all day and won't stop till he dies ?

He is 21 years old and started drinking vodka last year due to feeling of failure. He dropped out of high school cause no matter how much he studied, he failed. He got fired of every job he has due to lack of social skills. Now he's drinking the whole time and yesterday he pooped blood he said and he won't stop drinking till he dies.

There's nothing I can do about it and it's really hurting my heart 

Update:

He doesn't live with me, he lives with his another drunk friend 

14 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    What I don't understand is why you didn't get him a tutor, or you tutor him yourself. Perhaps he just learns differently, so of course that would cause him difficulty in school. Something else you could have done was you could have tried to transfer him to another school that has an easier academic curriculum. If you would have gotten him transferred then maybe he would have had a different life than what he has now.

    As we get older life gets harder. Life doesn't get easier as human beings get older. I realize you are in pain. I think you are going to have to watch your son fall all the way down even if it kills him.

  • 9 months ago

    Tell him you love him and want him to be safe. Tell him you will help him into rehab. Tell him he is you darling boy and you want to help him if you can, and that you think he needs help to stop from dying.

    Then hang up and call a therapist. YOU need to talk to someone to help you deal with your abusive and wasted mess of a son.

    When he is in the hospital, you might be able to talk to him, but only say how much you love him. That is what he needs to hear, not remedies for his mess. 

    If he won't get help, I would send him an email asking how he wants his funeral.  Who does he want to inherit his junk? 

    I am sorry for your loss. And his. You cannot stop him from suicide unless he wants help.

  • 9 months ago

    buy the useless waste of skin lots more vodka get rid of him.

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    Al-anon has been a tremendous help to me

    and several others I know.  Being open and honest helps so much because the alcoholic is neither of those things and lives by deceiving people e.g. "No mum I haven't had a drink all week", "Yes Dad, I'm going to A.A. tomorrow I promise" or "I've been cutting down for weeks and now drink less than half the amount I used to" etc.

    Alcoholics have lost the ability to be honest with those who truly love them. They hide drink, lie constantly etc.  It's YOU that now needs the help because they, usually, won't go for any themselves.  You'll be taught how to handle various situations and when to say nothing at all.  As your son does not live at home you can never be sure how much he drinks but it's a fact that alcoholics lie about everything. It's part of the illness.  Accept that it IS an illness and not just a bad, expensive and dangerous habit.

    I have gone through this with 2 children and a third is a heavy drinker but, maybe, not quite an alcoholic.  I have never touched alcohol so this all came as a great shock to me.

    Get help for yourself and let him know that you are doing so, then he might decide to get help for himself.  Let him know you still love him dearly and will be there when he needs help but not there to be the provider of cash etc.

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  • 9 months ago

    That's not good! We don't want anymore important people to die around us.

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    Lack of social skill doesn’t just show up in adulthood, it starts at age 4-6. Maybe the guy is just infantile or has issues with anxiety, he needs to treat his mental issues before he can drop alcohol.

  • 9 months ago

    Get him to see a doctor.Then refer him to Alcoholics Anonymous.Under no circumstances should you ever encourage or enable his drinking.

  • 9 months ago

    Call 911 and get him into rehab.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    maybe you should kick him out so you dont have to live with an alcoholic

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    You probably won't want to do this, but it's always a big mistake.  Get yourself to an Alanon meeting.   You'll be surrounded by people going through this exact same thing, and more importantly, people who've gotten past it and know what to do.  For example, your 1st sentence isn't true.  He's been drinking for longer than a year, and it isn't because of his feelings or whatever.  With alcoholics, the 1st time they touch alcohol, small changes occur in their body that don't occur with non-alcoholics.  It's important you know what you're up against, and this is the type of thing Alanon can help with.   You need support from those who know!

    There might be one other thing you could try, though.  When you said he won't  stop drinking til he dies, is this your opinion or something he said?  If he said this, you'd probably be able to have him placed in a psych ward on a 72 hour involuntary hold.  Most places have this if the person is "danger to himself or others".   He'd be completely evaluated physically and mentally.   There may be low income options, as well.  Alanon might also be a good source of info on this.

    You're right that you can't control his drinking, but you can control your reaction to it, and I promise you will feel better when you're doing something rather than thinking about it.

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