Sambhav asked in Social SciencePsychology · 10 months ago

How to get over a grudge ?

Hey everyone i am a 21 Year old male and the thing is that i am holding a grudge against a guy i shared my apartment with in my college... He was from a poorer background than me and was always used to get jealous of my money . So one day i got to know that he had duped me out of a few bucks and we got in an argument over that which led to a fight and i unfortunately got knocked out by him. He apologized for it and made the settlement for money but one day he again stole some of my money while i was asleep and as i confronted him about it he started boasting about how he beat me the previous time and if i wanted that again but this time i insulted him badly in front of his friend and even complained about him to the apartment owner and got him thrown out of the apartment too after which he mocked me by saying that i don't have guts to fight and even said i am not a real man. I am not able to get over the fact that i spared him and didn't fight back when i had the chance to do so and not able to let go of the grudge

9 Answers

  • 10 months ago

    Fighting is an immature way to deal with problems. That guy sounds like an asshole, you took the high road by not getting into his little game.

  • 10 months ago

    Consider it a lesson learned and move on. He's a thief and a liar he doesn't deserve your friendship or to share a room with you either to be upfront and honest about it. Your life continues and you're obviously doing better in life than he is not just because of your money but because you are also a better person than he is. He's not a nice person and doesn't deserve to have good people in his life.

  • 10 months ago

    Consider that you've learned a lesson. Fist fighting doesn't solve issues. It usually causes more negative repercussions.

    Practice the golden rule of not doing to others what you hate. Life is more thoughtful and less reactive.

  • Liz
    Lv 6
    10 months ago

    Jehovah teaches his people “the good way in which they should walk.” (1 Kings 8:36) When he instructs us to forgive one another, we can be confident that he has our best interests at heart. With good reason the Bible tells us to “yield place to the wrath.” (Romans 12:19) Resentment is a heavy burden to carry in life. When we harbor it, it consumes our thoughts, robs us of peace, and stifles our joy. Prolonged anger, like jealousy, can have a detrimental effect on our physical health. (Proverbs 14:30) And through all of this, the offender may go his way oblivious to our turmoil! Our loving Creator knows that we need openly to forgive others not only for their benefit but also for our own. The Biblical counsel to forgive is, indeed, ‘the good way to walk.’

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  • Aa
    Lv 5
    10 months ago

    You got him thrown out of the apartment. People found out he was a thief. You won. He mocked you because he was angry he lost.There are many ways to defeat opponents aside from physical violence. You can defeat them verbally, in the court of law, in the field of public or peer opinion, etc. As an adult, I have never engaged in a physical fight because I am lousy at physical combat but I have defeated my enemy through other non-violent, legal means. That's not cowardice, that's being smart. You chose the smart way to defeat him. You won. Let it go. 

    Source(s): .
  • 10 months ago

    Think deeply about why you hold this grudge. Think on it long and hard, you say you came from a wealthier background so did I.. and people who come from wealthier backgrounds witness first hand how money is the root of all evil. It is the root of greed and grudges anger and jealousy. 

     Remember money is simply paper.. you will die one day with not even a penny. Think about that next time you get so angry over money you feel the urge to quite literally fight somebody. Money comes and money goes. If someone robbed me I honestly wouldn’t care because if someone’s willing to risk a friendship over a few dollars.. that’s on them. They have to live with that at night. 

      If someone was stealing from me I would have moved out immediately. Now I know it can be hard with college and everything, so sometimes that isn’t always the best method. 

       I know you seek revenge but think about it, you are an adult and guess what, what if you ended up seriously hurting him or even killing him? That’s a felony and jail time on YOU. Ruining many possible career paths. 

    Revenge is such a delusion because in the end you lose. 

     My advice would be don’t seek revenge it only hurts you. 

     If this roomate you speak of was to drop dead tomorrow.. would all this fighting over money have been worth it.. ask yourself that. 

      As for him and his words about saying you aren’t a man? It takes more of a man to walk away from a fight than it does to fight. 

    Just like it takes more of a man to get up every morning and work than it does a criminal. 

     Know who you are. His words shouldn’t bother you because clearly he is saying them because deep down he is hurt by the situation. 

    Hurt people.. hurt people. 

     Grudges do nothing but eat away at your soul, they consume your mind. You have to ask yourself is it truly worth it? 

     Life is too short to hold hatred in your heart. 

    Also speaking spiritually (because I am a very spiritual individual).. how do you think it makes God feel when you hold grudges? He forgives you every single day for doing him wrong... every single day. A fresh start. Always ready and willing to show you the way regardless of just how wrong you have done him. 

     What happens on judgment day when he pulls up all the grudges you held onto and hadn’t forgiven... will he forgive you then? Even though you yourself couldn’t even forgive others? 


  • 10 months ago

    I think the reason it still stings is because the guy taunted you for not being manly. But is it really right to settle it with fists? I don't think so. You see that in movies, but in real life it's not actually the mature, legal way to handle it. I think you did right by going to the apartment manager. The roommate had to face consequences for stealing from you. I really believe in the Bible advice, because our Creator knows what brings success. Human nature hasn't changed. Romans 12:27&21 says don't return evil for evil, don't be conquered by evil, but you conquer it with good behavior on your part. "Beginning a fight is like opening a floodgate; before the quarrel breaks out, take your leave." - Proverbs 17:14. Next time someone acts like that guy, if they're not sincerely sorry the first time, I would start making other arrangements. For more information on how to seek peace with difficult people, see

  • 10 months ago

    Bad winners  make worse  losers ..keep that in mind?

    Life is long, much more yet for you to experience.... 

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    You need to work on using more periods.

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