Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 8 months ago

Is it legit for my husband to want privacy on his phone? Or should i know his passwords?

Are social media apps appropriate for 

a 37 year old? How can i get him to be an open book with it, other than snooping thru it without him knowing. 

44 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Leave his phone alone, because he is probably chatting with women.  If you have a phone too, then you should start chatting with a few horny guys and see what might interest you.. I bet he's getting some from other women.  It happened to us and not we ar enjoying an open relationship.  It's working out great for both of us.

  • David
    Lv 6
    8 months ago

    OK, without even reading the answers, I know there will be many people screaming that if he has nothing to hide, then he should give you his passwords.  Those people are all wrong.  I have many friends (guy friends) who communicate with me on various social media apps.  From time to time, they confide in me stuff that they definitely WOULD NOT WANT MY WIFE TO KNOW.  (If I was still married, that is)  If I was married and shared my passwords openly with my wife, that would be disrespectful to a lot of people.  It would be a betrayal of many friendships.  While a husband and wife should generally have no secrets from each other ABOUT each other, that does not mean that a wife is automatically entitled to know everything that her husband knows.  And that goes the other way, also.  If I was still married and had full access to my wife's phone, I wouldn't be snooping through her texts or social media apps.  It's not my business.

    But here is what you need to understand.  Take this to heart.  Either you trust your spouse, or you don't.  The cell phone?  It's not a part of your marriage.  DO YOU TRUST YOUR HUSBAND?  It's a simple answer.  Yes, or No.

    Yes, I DO trust my husband.  No, you are a liar.  If you trusted your husband, you wouldn't be asking if it's legit for your husband to want privacy.  That is a GIVEN.

    NO, I DO NOT trust my husband.  Yeah, we know that, because you want to spy on him by snooping through his cell phone, which is never a good idea.  So why the frick did you marry him?

    If you don't trust your husband (and deep down in your heart, you really do not) then your marriage is going to fail.  Yes, it's going to fail.  And it doesn't matter whether you get access to his cell phone, or not.  Men (and women too) can't live their entire lives under an umbrella of suspicion.  Soon he'll get tired of your jealous, insecure behavior.  And then he'll divorce you, so that he can marry an adult.  

  • 8 months ago

    Who bought the phone? Who pays the bill? His phone, his choice, same with you and your phone.

  • 8 months ago

    He should be open. If there was nothing to hide, not a big deal


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  • 8 months ago

    keep your sticky beak out of his space, we are all allowed some privacy in life, respect it.

  • zipper
    Lv 6
    8 months ago

    It is none of your business LADY!

    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    I see everyone is all this saying if it’s private he’s upto something, everyone has a right to privacy it’s a human right, express your feeling to him he doesn’t have to show you but if he’s nothing to hide he won’t be bothered my partner has Facebook etc and I don’t have any but doesn’t mean I constantly check up on her, seems you have trust issues

  • 8 months ago

    if you're married legally then there should be no secrets. He should and you should also be an open book. Sounds like you might need to part ways 

  • 8 months ago

    You should get yourself a phone and do the same thing he is doing. Show him that 2 can play that game. Find out how to lock you and keep it locked.

  • P
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    You should have some type of arrangement in case yourself or himself dies to be able to get at your respective accounts\devices.  However maybe it's something in a sealed envelope if he's the privacy obsessed type.  Social media apps are used by all ages, so that alone is perfectly normal.    Demanding passwords\access is tricky with someone who doesn't want to cooperate, but there are a lot of other ways to tell if he's up to something inappropriate.   It's also important to say if he is trying to hide something and he thinks you are watching him like a hawk, he will go to great lengths to hide it, so in my experience it's always better to let them think you are completely ignorant and trusting so if they do something bad they will be more likely to leave evidence.  This is also why if it's something commonplace like porn or a innocuous "how's it going" kind of conversion with someone you don't like you find while snooping it's better to keep your mouth shut, so he doesn't know you are watching, which sometimes is very hard.   You can also possibly get ahold of  detailed phone usage through your cell phone service provider online and if you see hours long activity with a number you don't know you may have an issue.

    Behaviors to be aware of:

    1.  Disabled Text previews on their phone.  (text messages not readable on lock screen) (this by itself isn't enough as a lot of people do this anyway)

    2.   Immediately jumps for the phone to get a text message or call when you are around and then finds somewhere more private to answer.

    3.  Answering messages at odd hours and making an extra effort to hide the screen from you.

    4.  Disappearing for long periods of time to take phone calls at odd hours.

    5.  When you do get access to his phone large amounts of messages will have been deleted even though you know he's been on it all day.

    6. Running basic errands will commonly take hours longer than they should with no logical explanation.  

    Any single one of these is probably just circumstantial, but if you start checking off every one then he's up to something.  At the end of the day there's nothing you can do to stop him, but you can at least be aware to make a decision to stay or leave.  

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