Can your parents relationship, effect your own relationships?

As you can see my previous questions, I have asked why my love life is just shite to be frank. I have seen a therapist, and they said something I just can't get my head around.

They dived into topics which had me shocked such as my childhood, my relationship with my father. Me and my father aren't close, he walked out on my mother when I was young. He was always working, and obsessed with work. 

I never had that figure to talk to, about father like things like, love, heartbreaks, advice. I have never spoke to my father about anything, and it shook me.

Could that really affect my relationships, my mother's and father's chaotic relationship? I find it hard to believe.

8 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Well get your head around it. Most people's issues stem from childhood. Of course having a distant relationship with a father who later abandons you would affect your adult life. One wonders where else it is you think you experienced emotional trauma.

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  • 1 month ago

    What is what you find hard to believe?

    We tend to mimic what we know, and when it comes to relationships, the main example of how relationships dynamics work is our parents relationship.

    your parents didnt have a good relationship, so it makes sense that you struggle to feel confident in a relationship. How could you when you were abandoned by someone that was meant to be there for you?

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i think it can affect your relationships

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  • 1 month ago

    Maybe. I know several children of divorce who have been happily married for years and seem to have no trouble maintaining a relationship. I can also tell you that it's very rare for kids to have talked to their father about the things you mentioned. Certainly seeing a loving relationship is a good model, but it's not guarantee. People have their own personalities. My parents were happily married all their lives. My sister divorced her first husband, but found happiness with her second. I divorced my first and only husband. 

    BTW, therapists make their living off of convincing people that they need more therapy. 

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  • nanu
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    yes.................................

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  • 1 month ago

    If you let it. My mother and father fought constantly when we were growing up. What the hell kind of 11 year old is RELIEVED when their parents announce divorce? Only about 8 years or so ago did I finally have any kind of relationship with either of them and it's still going strong today, despite them never speaking to each other again. 

    So what? Because of that, I'm supposed to have a miserable lovelife? I've been with the same man for 11 years, married 8 of those years, and we have our ups and downs, but nothing like my parents' marriage. NOTHING. I make the decisions now that I'm the adult on how MY LIFE will go, not them. I decide if I'm going to be happy or not, NOT THEM. I am my own person now. They don't get to determine anything.

    And for the record, both are remarried and have been for years. They sucked for each other, but they don't suck for other people. Don't let your parents determine the person you are now. That's not their job anymore, that's yours.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Your parents were your role models.

    So were your grandparents. If you grew up around healthy relationships you have a better chance of handling your own in a healthy way. 

    Your family history gives a therapist insight into you. 

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  • 1 month ago

    no, your make your own decisions as an adult. Maybe you could have learnt more but you decide how to treat people at the end of the day

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