Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 8 months ago

I’m a virgin and scared for my wedding night ?

So I know this question might sound silly or cliche but I’m getting married in February and I’m a virgin and I am so scared haha. 

I know my husband to be obviously isn’t going to judge me but still it’s a lot of pressure on my part because what if I’m not good at it? What if I fail miserably? What will my husband think of me? 

 I’m 20 and my husband to be is 26 and he has had sex in the past.. so idk what if I’m not as good as the other girls? 

Just so many thoughts and questions and I’m too embarrassed to talk about them with anybody.

Any advice?

10 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    The thing about being a female virgin is that not much will be expected of you. If your husband has experience he'll know what to do and if he's a decent guy he'll be slow and gentle about it. But you're not in the same predicament as a male virgin where your naivety could ruin the whole experience. As long as you can manage what minimal pain might be involved you'll get through this. Just don't expect fireworks and rainbows as it's unlikely you'll learn how to achieve an orgasm the first time. You won't be "as good" as his other girls if they had experience at the time he bedded them. But he chose to marry you knowing that you're not bringing a lot of sexual expertise to the table. So clearly there are other things about you that are superior to these others in his mind and heart.

  • 8 months ago

    You don't have to be "good at it". You just choose to be interested, have fun, enjoy what you can and don't do what you don't want to do. Your husband knows you are not a porn star and he wouldn't want to marry a porn star. You don't have to pretend anything or learn what other people do or worry about competition. The only two people on the PLANET on your wedding night are you and your spouse. He'll feel the same way. Read a book about sex. Not a porn book. Just a "how it works" book. And enjoy his touch and love to touch him. You'll be fine. Honest. You'll be fine.

  • Tepee
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Your situation is actually perfect. He knows you have no experience so he will have no expectations and you'll have the privilege of inviting him to teach you to do what gives him the greatest pleasure. If he is patient and gentle your first experience should be incredible.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Just love and respect each other and have a good time on your own terms as a couple.  The rest will fall into place.

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Believe it or not, your husband to be will likely be as nervous as you are because, in spite of his experience, he has never been with you before. The key to having a positive sexual relationship is communication. The first time a couple is together is always difficult because it takes time, and experience, to learn what someone likes, dislikes, wants to try, or is adamant about avoiding, etc. As long as you are both open and honest with each other, after a few times together, you'll feel better and, assuming you both want the experience to be as positive for your partner as it is for you, everything should be fine. Just relax and keep your communication channel open and active.

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    You're not going to be good at it. Good sex is a learned skill, and if you haven't had any practice then of course you'll be lousy at it at first. And if you're scared then you're probably not going to enjoy it much, either. Women have to be relaxed to get pleasure from sex. Being nervous/scared is likely to make it uncomfortable or painful.

    My advice... don't feel like you HAVE to have sex on your wedding night, because you don't. You have the whole rest of your marriage to have sex, and if you don't feel ready to go all the way on your wedding night, then your husband should respect that. If he doesn't, he's marrying you for the wrong reasons.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    my advice is you're not ready for sex and 20 is too young to get married. call it off.

  • Dick
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Between now and February, you have enough time to get some experience. Then at least you will know what to expect, even if you  aren't yet experienced enough to be a satisfying sex partner. Anything else of any importance, you would practice until you are good at it. Why don't you practice sex? It's very important too!!!

  • 8 months ago

    You are worried for nothing. He didn't ask you, a virgin to marry him because he believed you would be a better sexual partner than those women. He wants to marry you because he loves you! Stop being so silly or you'll ruin the experience for both of you. I think you should tell him about your fears. I'm sure he'll confirm what I have said here.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    He has experience so he will teach you how to breath and take his co ck inside your hole.

    But you can learn the basic step of sucking his co ck by trying on a banana and watch a video on sucking.

    You don't have to be perfect on 1st night...just open your legs and let him break your virginity...and good luck and make sure he eats your hole

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