Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

The thought of marriage makes me anxious?

I'm 25 and single so I shouldn't even be worrying about this, but I am. I wanted to get married, but I think my idea of marriage is vastly different than the way reality is. I romanticized and idealized marriage. When I take my mind back to reality... it almost makes me wonder if I don't want marriage after all. I like the idea of living alone (or with my family to help out as my father ages.) I like the idea of staying independent with no one to hold me back. I like the idea of coming home to a dog instead of a human. I fear that if I ever do marry it will be out of emotions and for the wrong reasons. I fear that I will just get a divorce anyways and ruin my life. I don't want to waste my life away like that. I would rather casually date around for fun. That's it. The thought of marriage honestly makes me anxious. It's done that my entire life. I don't know why... other than maybe it's my gut saying I'm not right for marriage. Does anyone else experience this?

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I was the same until I met my marital partner. You may find that this fear of marriage never leaves you, and that's okay as lots of people are skipping that these days. Or you may encounter someone who changes your mind. Either way I wouldn't worry about it. As long as you're happy and not harming anyone else you're a decent person.

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    • Ana
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      So, to the asker: 

      If you are only thinking about yourself and only in the short term, and about your fleeting desires and preferences instead of your moral duty, then it’s only natural that you’d oppose marriage. You don’t have the character nor the inclination for it 

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Many others have similar fears and they include people who are single by choice. Yet, some find their attitudes (and fears) change when they find the right person and that person finds them. Rather than allowing this fear to dominate your life, do what you feel is right and best for you, but don't foreclose any possibilities before you encounter them.

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  • 1 month ago

    If you are not ready to share your life and your trust with another person, it is probably sensible to avoid it. My view is that every marriage is different. It is what the couple choose to make it. Provided they care about their partner and respect them, they can usually find a way of achieving an amicable, enriching relationship. It doesn't just happen. We have to consciously consider each other to make it work but, if we really care about each other, that is no hardship. People in a committed relationship tend to live longer; to be slightly happier and to enjoy better health than 'unattached' people, which suggests marriage (or something similar) is a positive thing to do. I once read a quote: "I will not live in fear of catching fire or falling over". It is easy to let our fears box us in. If we don't overcome our fears, we are sentencing ourselves to a life as victim. Whatever you decide, I wish you contentment.

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  • 1 month ago

    So don't think about it! There is no rush, is there? Maybe in five or ten years you will think differently. 

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