Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 8 months ago

Getting married before graduating college?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and really wanna get married. I’m a freshman in college this year, and he isn’t in school, but doing a residency in the same city as my school. We want to get married and live together while I’m in school and he is working, but my parents don’t think it’s a good idea. Does anyone have any advice on getting married before finishing school?

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  • 8 months ago

    I am really sorry, and I don't mean to laugh or make fun of your situation. However, how a freshman in college can make a life-long decision to want to marry somebody she has only known for 12 months is a huge mistake. The mere fact that you can't decide whether you should get married while still in school is a huge red flag. Wake up girl!

    If you two are so much in love, and you know without a question or doubt that you're going to be together for the next 60 years, then what is the rush? You know you're going to be life Partners forever, right? So why get married now when you going to be together forever?

     

     Your job as a college student is to study, learn, and then graduate. When you went to college you committed yourself to education and you would be doing yourself a great Injustice to change course and wander from your goals of getting a good education.

    Yes, students get married all the time. But because you are asking this question shows that you are completely unsure as to what to do. This is a clear indication that you should do nothing but remain two tier studies. Marriage is forever and is an enormous commitment. Right now you should be committed to school and your education. I think your parents are right.

    You are a freshman in college which leads me to believe that you're still a teenager. As such, you do not possess the life experience or maturity that it takes an enormous commitment. Right now you should be committed to school and your education. I think your parents are right.

     You are a freshman in college which leads me to believe that you're still a teenager. As such, you do not possess the life experience or maturity that it takes 2 do your best at school and maintain a young marriage. School is very stressful and marriage can be very stressful at times as well. This is your time to educate yourself. Please don't put a wrench in your plans by marrying a guy you've only known for a measly year. That would be incredibly foolish. Finish your education and then get married.

  • 8 months ago

    What kind of a residency is he doing?

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    You both are still young and have a lot to consider.  Marriage should NOT be on the list.  Finish your schooling and get a good job, be on your own with own place to live, bills to pay, car, etc. for a few years.  He should do the same.

    Continue to date but don't even consider marriage right now.  If you both really are meant to be married and together, then you both can wait for a few years and develop a strong relationship and be really for marriage.  Do NOT get pregnant at this time either.  Listen to your parents.  You won't be sorry you waited.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Love knows no bounds.  I would go for it and marry my intended.

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    no , not until you have a full time job and no debt should you marry

    many people go to school and once done do not carry their fiscal load

    after all WHY  are you so much a hurry to marry? SEX or MONEY? those are the reasons. 

    I would not marry you until you were out of school and working 

  • 8 months ago

    Up to you. Most people are waiting until later to get married but that doesn't mean anything really

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    I am a single male, and I am in my thirties. I graduated from college when I was 21 years old. Now I want an option of being able to live, and travel on water, so I am doing whatever it takes to make this into a reality, for me.

    I never considered getting married at any point of my life.

    Is that as far as you want to go in life?

    I don't know if you realize if you want you can go much further in life than just limiting yourself to what you have now. Now you have an opportunity to finish school, so I suggest you take it.

    You only known the guy, for 1 year. If you want to prioritize him over your education then that's fine with me. Maybe you might want both.

    None of your actions will effect me in a negative way, but it can effect you. Well it's your life, so you can choose what you want.

    Source(s): n
  • 8 months ago

    Sorry, girl, but a year is nothing like enough when you are at an age when you are only just beginning to learn about your adult self. 

    We fall madly in love, don’t we, thinking (feeling rather) that it will last forever and is enough for a serious relationship. However, it’s very hard to live on an emotional high for very long. Eventually we start to come down from the ecstasy, excitement, strong passions and desires, typically after around 18 months to three years (people vary of course). If couples are friends, discuss their mutual values, shared ambitions, interests, etc., in some depth (obviously there will be some differences, which help make relationships interesting), and make plans, work on their personal development, etc., this can develop into a long and wonderful relationship. If one party feels insecure or low in self respect, it can make for a difficult partnership. It's easy to behave at our best when in love, but marriage, for example, requires a lot of self discipline, sacrifice, compromise and flexibility. If a strong friendship is not in place, the relationship will probably peter out eventually - or worse. Quite often we fall in love because we are lonely and allow ourselves to be won over by anyone who takes an interest in us. Thus we give away control to somebody else if we are not careful. This is another reason for taking things very slowly, and really getting to know someone before committing ourselves or getting too emotionally or sexually involved. Sex can be very emotionally bonding, which is disastrous if the other things are not there: strong friendship, similar values and standards, common interests, etc.  

    What's the hurry? You very likely have at least another eighty years to get married! Good Luck!

      

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Can his pay support the two of you and your schooling? Does he already have loans and are you borrowing money to go to school? If money becomes an issue, will you be expected to stop going to school (or cut back to part time) to work and make ends meet?

    Those are some of the financial and practical concerns you should address. That says nothing of the statistics regarding the failure rates of young marriages. You could certainly consider living together, you could even get engaged and have a long engagement. But I’d suggest making sure you have your education before getting married.

  • 8 months ago

    If you are financially independent then go for it.  Otherwise, wait until you are.

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