How do i deal with this friend who keeps asking for money?

So i made the mistake of telling this friend how much i got from an inheritence. I only told her because her cat had kittens and she asked me if i wanted one. When i told her i wasnt working she asked how id provide for the cat. Genuine concern. I told her i had an inheritence. Shortly after getting the cat she started saying she was in financial issues and needed assisitance. I helpd out the first couple times cause it seemed to be the right thing to do. I mean she gave me a cat for free. Anyway, its been months and at least once a week shes asking for help. Ive been fed up with this for a long time. Shes well over 1k in what she owes me by now and everytime she says "this is the last time, ill start paying you back next week". That week comes, then some inconvenience supposedly happens, she cant pay me, and needs more money. She also tends to say things that will make me feel bad. "Idk how im going to eat. Idk how to feed my cats. Idk if i can make it to work'. 

Im afraid if i flat out say no, something terrible may happen, or ill never see the money again. Even though it seems like i wont anyway.

I just dont know what to do about this, or if theres something legal to be done about it. I certainly feel like something is up and its not 100% genuine. Her fiance apparently doesnt make enough and her family wont even help her. 

Update:

I just said to her "Im going to get extremely vile, and take any possible route to start getting paid back real soon if this doesnt stop"

And she said "Don't get all medieval on me. You'd be wasting money with a lawyer to sue because I dont have it all."

21 Answers

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  • zipper
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    YOUR A DUMMY< PAL! NEVER TELL A FEMALE YOU HAVE MONEY< SHE WILL TRY TO HELP YOU SPEND IT!

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  • B
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    She is probably doing this to more than just you. I had a distant relative like that, and I just stopped providing 'gifts' but directed her to the agencies and their phone numbers who might help with groceries, child care or day to day expenses.  Also, do yourself a favor today and look into filing a claim against her in small claims court, you will feel better if you do, and you have evidence to support your claim.

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  • DEBS
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    1.  She's not your friend anymore.  She's a leach.  

    2.  It doesn't matter if she doesn't have the money to pay you.  You can still take her to small claims court (no lawyers).  If you win*, then there are legal ways to get your money.

    3.  Your other option is to walk away from her 100% and the money.  Chalk it up to lesson learned.  

    *IF you win.  Do you have proof of how much you paid her?  Do you have some sort of proof that it was considered a loan and not a gift or payment for the cat.  People's stories change very quickly when it get real.

    • Robby1 month agoReport

      I have plenty of facebook messages showing that it was meant to be paid back, and the money was given through facebook messenger and cashapp. And once a check. 

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  • 1 month ago

    I would tell her you are putting the money in a trust and you wont have access to most of it.

    THIS PERSON is not a friend, she is using you.

    and DONT tell anyone else about how much you got in this inheritance,

    ROBBY - you need to get some BALLS fast, I would do just as the others have said, cut her off and if she askes for any more money, stop talking to her.

    you will probably never see that $1,000 again.

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  • Eva
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You aren't ever going to see that money. She thinks you have plenty and don't need her to pay you back. The next time she asks, tell her you can't this time and that she needs to budget better since she's always behind. That should end the friendship. There's nothing legal you can do without having the debt in writing. If she doesn't have money for food, she can go to a food pantry.

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    • DON W
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      If you went to a court, the judge would be interested in seeing a signed agreement, stating clearly how much you were loaning, what interest (if any) you were charging, and the repayment plan, such as $50 each month beginning February 2020.  But again, forget about getting the money back.

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  • DON W
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Sorry that you got into this.

    First of all, forget about getting back the money you gave her--you won't.  Even if you took her to court she would either say the money was a gift, or that she doesn't have the money to pay you back.  

    Second, cut off all further contact with her.  She's no friend.  Drop her on Facebook and block her phone number.  

    You've lost a couple of thousand dollars, but have learned a lesson.  Donations to the needy are wonderful, but it should be on your own terms, preferably anonymous, and shouldn't have an expectation of being repaid.  Consider donating to your local animal shelter.

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    • DON W
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      You are missing the main point: forget about trying to get the money back.  That will just get you in deeper and deeper.  You need to get her out of your life completely.

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  • 1 month ago

    She is not a friend if she is hitting you up for money.  Tell her that she has to pay back the $1,000 she already borrowed, and after that you will lend her $2,000 or more but not before she pays the $1,000 back.  That is the ONLY way you are going to get it back, if she falls for the lie.  And the lie IS necessary to have any chance of getting your money back.  Cats are free all over the place.  There's an abundance.  Unless it is a rare or exotic cat, people only charge $25 or $35 to make sure it won't be used at bait.  NEVER lend her or even give her another cent.  EVER!  You don't need a reason why or an excuse and you should not feel guilty.  If you feel it necessary to explain, tell the money-hungry ***** that all of your money is invested and you won't have access to it until the year 2035.

    • Robby1 month agoReport

      I really wasnt even looking for cat. She just came to me on facebook and i was like "yeah that sounds nice". Just a normal cat. And i made the mistake of feeling like i owed her.

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  • 1 month ago

    1. All cats are free...unless we're talking about something crazy.  

    2. Grow a backbone and tell her no more loans without some signs of repayment. 

    3. Learn the phrase "throwing good money after bad."

    4. Tell her to get rid of any pets for which she cannot provide...

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    • Robby1 month agoReport

      I just snapped on her and said no more. But if she doesnt pay back, would i spend more money trying to get it back legally?

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  • Ann
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Well, honestly she isn't much of a friend, she is using you. You can be honest and tell her that you cannot loan her any further money and put in writing such as a text and include how much she currently owes that she has not made any attempt to pay you back, Yes, expect her to be nasty, again she is not a friend, and you can get free kittens everywhere. Let her learn to live within her means and if she can;t pay her own bills, she shouldn't have cats.

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  • 1 month ago

    One way or another, your friendship is over.

    Either you are going to stop giving her money and she will resent you or, you will keep giving her money and you will we resent her.Her financial problems just aren't your problem.  Cut her off, now.

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