Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 4 weeks ago

What is the proper etiquette for ending a 15 year friendship?

Should I just let it fade out and hopefully they get the hint and leave me alone? Or should I give a clear reason as to why I'm ending it? The reason why i am not so sure about the latter is that they have a history of going to other people's houses as well as mine to get answers. I'm e tried letting the friendship fade out before only to have her come to my house pretending to act all worried about me and thus pulling me back in the friendship.

I'm worried of her doing this over and over again but this time I am officially done with her bad treatment. I'm also a little unsure that if I actually confront her about why I'm ending things if I could have a potential stalker on my hands.

If you actually read on that and still care enough to have an opinion, I'd be grateful to hear both sides. I have been stalked by another former friend for years; except he was a male so that's a bit of a different case.

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  • 4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    If this person has a history of going to other people with her problems, then everybody is pretty much well aware of that fact and it should have no bearing on your decision on how to handle her.

    You have two choices to end the friendship, one being honest and tell her that you think you have both Grown Apart, or secondly, you can continue to be aloof, not answer her text messages, not answer your telephone, or if she does come to your door, do not let her in and tell her you are busy.

    I had an acquaintance that I briefly knew for years until a few years ago when we started communicating more. I came to realize she was a hypochondriac, an attention seeker and full of all kinds of drama. If you took I, me and my out of her vocabulary, she would have absolutely nothing to say.

    I began communicating with her less and less. Rather than reacting to all of her problems I just listened and stopped commenting without reacting or giving her pity fuel. Because she wasn't getting the attention she wanted from me, she finally started backing off.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    There isn't a proper etiquette. You just do what is best for you without being unkind. 

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    You don’t allow yourself to be pulled back in. They call you to talk, you don’t take the call. You don’t open the door.   Call them when convenient for you,  then tell them what is going on. This friendship just doesn’t seem to be working anymore. It is time for me to move on. I wish you the best, goodbye. 

    Don’t go into details. Don’t be dragged into a debate. Don’t argue.  Don’t allow her to negotiate with you.  A got to go, good bye. Block calls, eliminate from all social media. No contact means.  you don’t get pulled back in.

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  • GTB
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Oftentimes providing a clear reason is just your viewpoint and not well accepted. If it is fading away now, let it alone.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    You'll be ahead of the game to let her know your thinking.  You can do it via text or email.  If you don't feel you can justify a full-on "I want to never see you or hear from you again", then you should be clear that she may not visit without a explicit invitation.  Ending a 15-year friendship is bound to be difficult, but it's not impossible - not at all.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    I think it's proper to be forward and let the person know honestly. I did this recently. Not a 15 year friendship, more like a 9 year. But I feel like it's courtesy to tell them that it's ending and why.

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