What is wrong with me.?

I was sexually awakened at a very young age and not in the best circumstances there was a lot of involvement of drugs and having sex with much older men who sometimes faded the line of abuse when

i

was around 11-15/16. I am transgender MtF and

i

get such strong feelings of

jelousy

and anger when

i

look at females. The current problem

i

am having is everything looking and feeling fake. It is like I'm behind myself just sitting

their

watching me live my life. I do weird things like just sitting and smirking at

nothing  and

i

truelly

dont

believe this is real. Is there a name for this, can i get help as it is currently ruining my education.

7 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
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  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It is surely time to go see a therapist.

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  • 1 month ago

    This sounds like derealization and depersonalization disorder, often triggered by a traumatic event. I think you should talk to a therapist, it always helps. Hope you feel better.

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  • Dr. D
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Yes, your condition is typical for dissociation. You responded to stress and trauma by removing yourself from it and developing an alter ego. You would benefit from seeing a good therapist. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Dissociation from trauma. You're a sexual abuse victim dissociating from trauma by adopting an alternate identity (trans). This is very common. You need help healing from the trauma, you do not need to be "affirmed" into your fake cover identity. That will not help you. Treat the root problem.

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  • 1 month ago

    You were "awakened" at a very early age? Sounds like you were molested by much older men.  I'm sorry this happened to you.  It isn't/wasn't your fault. You can get through it but you might have to get therapy.  You are innocent, a unique and wonderful human being who has been wronged. Evil people used you. You can shed guilt and shame by getting this out in the open and realizing you are the victim. You do matter, you are loved AND needed. I pray you are listening. 

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  • 1 month ago

    I think the name for this is lunacy.

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