Please answer? What should I do? Just ignore it? I have a bully in the house ?
I’m twenty. Ever since I finished high school first year I was studying administration. I wanted to just work and figure out what to do with life. But never got a job so my mother signed my up for a course in office admin. At the time the time the doc let me off my anti depressant. See how it would go. (I grew up with An anxiety disorder. I don’t want to name it specifically. One where a child is capable of speech but can not speak to certain people outside comfort levels). Worst came to worst I started going I don’t know what to do with my life and became depressed. Withdrawed from the course I wasn’t enjoying. Worst came to worst my own 16 year old brother was calling me dumb, idiotic with no future. And constantly. And eventually I’d cry and just want to die. And frankly I actually wanted to commit suicide.it was all I thought of But never had the guts to actually hurt myself. Long story. Ended up being put on the tablet I’ve been forced to take all my teen years. Currently studying Makeup artistry at Tafe (the Australian community college. It’s more like a grade B uni that anyone can get into for short courses. Nothing wow about it.). And yeah I’ve still never had a job because it’s hard. I had one job at one point. All I did was serve food at a cafe. And it lasted less than two weeks because of how nervous I was and terrible customer service.
My bro (now 17) who thinks he’s the Einstein in the house or something. makes me think ... gee. I thought I left all the bullies behind ever since I finished high school. But now I have one in the house living with me.
Not long ago when I was at the dinner table with just him he said to me "You can't even get into University. You're dumb. And You have no future. doing a crap course at cafe, and you can't even get a job. no one will give you a job." and more and more repeating "you have no future
Honestly what does YOU HAVE NO FUTURE even mean. because thats all my lil bro says to me constantly. He even said "Auntie Jodie actually said that about you today. that no ones going to give you a job. Sleeping all day" etc. Dam Auntie Jodie. But really I have a big supportive family. No one pressures me into anything. So far the only person worried and thinks Uni is everything is the bro. Once asked our mum "when is --- going uni". The kid cares about his education, wants to become some
successful business person or something. Back in HS I did want to go to Uni, yet Auntie Jodie started to be all "UNI is not everything. there are other ways" because she doesn't think its for me. I couldn't even handle senior years (lets call it the finals). All my life I've never been academically bright. I suck at Math, Science and anything to do with numbers. I dropped Math and all that and did Drama, and Music, and art. I like reading novels. Ive always had
this bizarre dream of wanting to become a star .. In acting and singing. And I stilll do. I've taken ton of singing lessons and I was known for singing on the stage at school. Anyway. Yeah. Now here I am. twenty and still unemployed and studying makeup, with dreams I dont know if ill ever Chase to reality. Currently on holidays and just sleeping all day.
Im trying not to let it get to me. but I think it is ... my own smart ass little brother constantly calling me 'dumb' and saying you have no
future over and over again. His hobbies include locking himself In his room and playing games of watching documentaries on his table all day, and carrying it around the house.
With the things my brother says to me (and I dont even bother to say anything back because its not worth it) I try to ignore it, but its actually starts to hurt because I want to cry. Apparently he's trying to help me. But all I see is bullying.
I at least have plans to look for a Job in high end retail makeup after my course (work on my terrible people skills while im at it). Then work and study something musicy.
With the things people like my own bro keep repeating. trying to make himself bigger than he really is.. should I just be strong and ignore it? Because as much as I pretend to ignore it its lightly hurting
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