Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Daughter lacks motivation to deal with her weight problem?

She's 14 and already 230lb. I and my husband take complete responsibility for it, we didn't say " No" a lot when she was younger, letting the issue fester. We try everything

We try a calm approach, doesn't work, we try a harsh approach, leads to fighting. Her attitude is that she's fine and we're annoying her.

What can we do to fix this?

8 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    I had this problem as well growing up, I was overweight as a kid and I finally got sick of it and lost all the weight when I was 20.  Moral of the story:  If you don't stop it now, it wont get any better.  My weight was on my parents for buying unhealthy foods and cooking unhealthy meals.  You and your husband as you have already said are responsible.  It is now up to you to change how all of you eat.  Buy healthy foods, lean meat/proteins(skinless chicken breats, lean beef ETC) cook lots of veggies and all that stuff.  It all starts in the grocery store.

    Once you establish a healthy eating life style you can maybe then help her become more active.  Being healthy is a life style that is mostly eating habits, but is also accommodated by activity.  She is much more likely to be motivated to lose weight and be healthy once she sees how much better she feels when she eats better and loses some weight off that alone.  Also, if your eating out cut that now.  No McDonalds ETC.  Keep that to a minimum, once a month.  Have her drink lots of water, no sodas or sugary drinks ETC.  

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  • 1 month ago

    You are ADULTS and you are the parents, she's fat due to the two of you. 

    Throw all the junk food out and put locks on everything and she can only eat at meal times and she has to exercise. There is no excuses to allow her to be so fat 

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  • 1 month ago

    I think I would start with a trip to the doctor for a full check up, including labs to make sure there's not a medical issue happening (thyroid issues, hormone imbalance, etc). I believe that a lot of times, especially for teens, it can be easier for parents to let someone else give the advice. More and more pediatrician's are starting to also have nutrition education in their offices; I know my son's doctor has a program run by college students that focuses on healthy eating and exercise and will offer activities, cooking classes, passes to the pool, etc for children who are enrolled. It's something to look into, if not the doctor's office, than perhaps public health? I don't think saying No all the time is the answer, nor being harsh, you want her to make healthy choices that are sustainable and going to allow her to continue to develop as she should. Change the way you spend time together: I know I realized I was in the habit of "special time" being eating out... so instead, we've stocked up on board games for family time, we will grocery shop, plan meals, and cook together, we will go on hikes or to the pool for special outings instead of say the movies.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    just give her only diet food

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  • 1 month ago

    If you are doing the cooking, just cut down on the calories in your recipes. Don't say anything about what you are doing so you'll all eat the same meals (it won't hurt you or your husband) and she won't notice she's getting less. Outside the home you can't stop her snacking, but if there's no junk food in the house and plenty of healthy snacks in the fridge - no cakes/biscuits/sweets etc - she'll snack on those. She'll start to lose a bit of weight and you should occasionally tell her how good she's looking. Maybe she could get counselling about why she lacks motivation.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Believe me, she already knows she has a weight problem.  Reminding her of it isn't going to help. As previous posters have said, buy healthy foods instead of chips, soda and cookies.  Buy a gym membership and go with her and workout together.  Make it the new family activity.  

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  • Linda
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Since she is under your roof, stop buying candy or sweets or chips and instead buy her fruit like oranges and apples and bananas and celery and carrot sticks to replace chips. Change her diet where she won't miss the junk food as much. She will have to eat what is there so she will have no choice but to eat healthy.

    Source(s): On a diet myself, trim healthy mama and losing weight and feeling great!
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  • P
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Unless she's buying her own food you are still part of the problem by having unhealthy food available to her and providing portions that are too big.  Discussing things with get will get nowhere as you have already figured out.  

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