Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 8 months ago

Is this a bad thing? ?

The guy who I am potentially going to be in a relationship with (I haven’t met him yet I met him online and we are meeting in person in 2 months time) next month he wants to get me pregnant by sending me his sperm in the post. He has some fascination with pregnancy and wants to get me pregnant over and over again and says he has always wanted a big family, he is 19 years older than me and always says he loves me and wants to be with me forever but should I worry if he wants to get me pregnant so quickly and so soon? He also wants to propose to me when he sees me in 2 months and marry me by this December


He is well off, he is a businessman. I really appreciate your helpful answer, thank you so much. 

Update 2:

I want it too, yes but not SO soon :( I don’t want it to be rushed 

2 Answers

  • 8 months ago

    Hun, this is not looking good. You've both never met in real life yet and arent even in an offical relationship (as from how you said potentially). He is already wanting all of this but the question is do you? you havent met yet so you can't be for sure if this is the real deal and even if it was then he needs to slow down. If a guy is that wanting then it can be a negative sign, he could be really desperate as he is older and want to keep a younger person for a long time. And (now this is an extreme case) this can lead to complcations such as him "tricking" you into impregnate you (e.g. removing condoms when you actually do have sex - without your permission to do so).

    It's one thing to be saying all of this, but it seems like he is also planning on actually acting it out which is a huge red flag this early on and without completly undertanding if this is what you want too.

  • 8 months ago

    Sperm would not survive transmission by post. It would have to be frozen by a medical laboratory, kept frozen in transit, and thawed out in another laboratory. If you receive a jar of his sperm by post the sperm cells would have died and would have started to decay, and you should not use it.

    Large families these days aren't a good idea. You would be pregnant so often that you would not be able to hold down a job. He would have to be very well off for you to have a comfortable lifestyle. Often single income families can't afford to buy a house. Children are expensive these days. Often in large families some of the children wouldn't be able to ever go to college.

    It's bizarre that he wants to get you pregnant without having sex yet. And it's also strange that he is so sure that he will marry you without having met yet. You really should meet him and get to know him in person before you marry him. But when you meet him in two months' time he will probably want to have unprotected sex with you as soon as possible.

    Be warned that abusive guys sometimes like to impregnate their women. If the woman leaves him she will usually take the kids, but he will get visiting rights. These days our courts are granting visitation rights even to abusive guys, and sometimes even to rapists. Many women these days are co-parenting with guys who used to beat them to a pulp. Abusers use their visitation "rights" to continue to intimidate their exes, to sometimes abuse them again, and to scare away any new guys. Battered women are tied to their abusers until their children turn 18 years old.

    So you need to make sure that his fascination with impregnating you isn't because he then wants to start beating you up once he has control over you. You will need to really get to know him well first. But even if he isn't abusive, he isn't really in his right mind either.

    You should really rethink this whole relationship. You have enough information now to realise that he isn't right in the head and a relationship with him this is a bad idea.

    If you're still determined to meet him then I advise you to go onto contraception before you meet up with him. Because he WILL persuade you to have unprotected sex with him as soon as he meets you. Don't use the pill because he can throw them away. Consider a long acting contraceptive such as the injection (you don't have to tell him).

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