alycia asked in HealthMental Health · 1 month ago

My mother has been calling me names and this is really like her. please, help.?

I live with my mom and go to full time college at a local college. I'm 19 about to turn 20. Lately, She's been telling me that I talk too much and I must be lonely. I got really upset because this is true. Today, I was talking to her about something that I was concerned about and she said to me that I was too mentally weak to cope with the said event that was going to happen in the future. She says she's scared of things all the time. I recognize she has an anxiety disorder. Why is she suddenly turning her back on me like this? She used to be really supportive. She was like my best friend. I guess it's hard for me to accept that my mom is taking shots at me. I am a little immature for my age. I will not lie. She says that I act like her friend's autistic daughter which I took offense with because I am in no way autistic. My mom has been a little paranoid and angry over this stupid guy she likes at work that has a girlfriend. She thinks he is cheating on his girlfriend with her co-worker. I know how ******* crazy this sounds. I can only put my answer to words as she might be stressed because she's been alone for years after the divorce of my father. I think she suffers Borderline Personality Disorder.

Update:

I mean this isn't really like her. 

4 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 month ago

    If you've noticed a fairly sudden change in her, you could let her doctor know (the doctor can accept information from you, but can't share information) as it could be due to a change of meds or she could benefit from an anti-anxiety med. At any rate, for you: (1) Don't take the bait. When mom says something upsetting, don't respond. Leave the room, politely ignore her, change the subject; (2) Spend less time with your mother by getting involved in school activities, working part time, studying at the library, socializing, and taking up some new hobbies; (3) Plan to go to school part time, work part time and get into a roommate situation; (4) Encourage your mother to go to therapy.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • 1 month ago

    Listen, I get it. Sometimes our own parent's can disappoint us.

    But let me give you a life lesson that hopefully will help.

    There will be some people who love you, like you, talk greatly about you, give you love, acceptance and appreciation and talk you up. There will also be people who hate you, dislike you, talk negatively about you and show you lack of respect and dignity.

    But what people think about YOU says nothing about you rather says everything about them. It is THEIR perception of you. They choose for themselves what to see what not to see.

    The truth is we all have strengths and weaknesses, and like life, it's we choose to focus on.

    Why am I telling you this? Because you can't let what people say about you define YOU.

    You can be the kindest, nicest, positive human being on the planet and there is always be someone who thinks your the worst. Does that make you a bad person?

    Rule of thumb: Don't define yourself or create hurt from what other people say about you, including your family. You define for YOURSELF who you are and be secure in that.

    Everyone can call you a loser, but if you know your a winner, you'll continuing willing.

    I hope that makes sense.

    I can only offer you advice. The decision is ultimately yours. I hope you make the right decision for yourself.

    Wishing you nothing but love, peace and happiness.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    She sounds abusive mentally. My mom puts me down to and hates me. So I can see it in yours too from what you described.

    Try to avoid her as much as you can, do the 'gray rock to deal with narcissists'  (google it) and try to move out. I'm trying to move out cause being around her for a minute even is like being stabbed in the heart she's so toxic.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • 1 month ago

    accept that you both have problems and there are mental health doctors that may be able to help you to deal with your life and with your mom.

    • Log in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.